Of Marimos and Eyebrows
by AllBlueChaser
Summary: The collection of Zo/San drabbles I have written over the years. Themes, ratings, and quality are going to range all over the place. There will be smut. There will be fluff. Zo/San from Opyaoi100. Chp 78- Zoro betrays but self forgiveness may come by cook
1. Too Damn Hot

_**Too Damn Hot**_  
Title: Too Damn Hot  
Pairing: Sanji/Zoro  
Rating: g  
Words: 298

* * *

"I have a lemonade for you down in the store room."

Zoro didn't even try to open his eyes and face the blond from his reclined position on deck. It was too damn hot and the glare of the sun would surly sting, but he heard Sanjis voice call from the shade a few feet away clearly and knew what potential that room held. Privacy for one.

"I'm sure that's not all you have waiting for me there. Go away, it's too damn hot."

"Don't come begging to me later when you slip into my bed."

Zoros mouth curled into a snarl. He shouldn't be talking about that so openly, but Sanji wouldn't give them away yet, so it must be safe to talk.

"I do NOT beg."

"I bet Nami, will have something to do with my time."

"Not what you're hoping for if she wants the money I owe her back."

Zoro had always hated that the cooks flirtations with the navigator bothered him. Especially now that Sanji seemed to figure out the connection. Whenever the cook was particularly flirtatious with Nami, Zoro felt the urge to seek Sanji out and make sure he still desired him. That he was what Sanji really wanted.

It was bad enough that Zoro enjoyed going to the cook and the things he let be done to him, at all! He didn't want to be controlled by them...

"Well, I guess I'll have to go and enjoy that lemonade by myself. I've been wanting some solitude anyway."

Zoro panicked as he heard steps shuffle away and jumped up into the shade. Sanji was apparently waiting for him just a few steps away, with a knowing smirk.

"Alright, dammit! But there better really be a drink down there. With Ice!"


	2. Food from theuhheart

_**Food from the..uh..heart**_  
Title:Food from the..uh..heart.  
Words:269  
Ratimg:G  
Pairing: Sanji/Zoro

* * *

"What dish are you going to make anyway?"

"Chicken."

"Chicken?"

"Chicken. Is there a problem with that?" Zoro asked gruffly. He knew Sanji wanted the title of the dish, but its long sissy title would give away the fact he had taken the recipe out of one of the cooks own books.

Sanji was the most critical man Zoro had ever met and he figured the quickest way to win him over without giving up his pride was to impress him where he was the hardest to please- the kitchen.

Sanji watched with interest as Zoro threw his all into making the meal.

A half hour later the dish was placed in front of Sanji. Little garnish but a nice looking dish none the less. Sanji took a bite as Zoro watched trying to hold the look of aloof confidence over the anxiousness he felt.

"Hm...Hazelnut crusted chicken in a wine sauce! Very tasty."

Zoro beamed with a cocky pride.

"Pg 238, vol. 3 from my "Cooking with Class" set of cookbooks."

Zoro frowned.

"How'd you know?"

"I know all the recipes in those books by sight, smell, and taste."

"Guess it wasn't very impressive then."

"Have you ever heard the saying the best ingredient of any dish is the feeling that went into it?" Sanji took another bite and looked straight into the swordsmans eyes. "Tastes like you were already thinking about dessert... "

"If you're up for it." Zoro offered.

"As soon as you stood at the stove I was up for it."

"And here I thought you were hard to please..."

"Oh I am. You'll see."


	3. Clothes Make the Man

Title: Clothes make the man  
Pairing:Zoro/Sanji  
Rating: G  
Words: 300  
notes: Takes place during the One Piece Winter Special. And yes Sanji really does.

* * *

Zoro still couldn't believe that in one hour the crew were to become thespians. If Nami hadn't been so greedy they could rest for once! He was about to voice this, and checked Sanjis relative position first, ready for a reaction. He was surprised to find it was just himself with the girls.

"Where'd they go?"

"They wanted to hurry back and see what costumes they get to wear." Nami sighed.

"And Sanji went to make sure they stayed out of trouble?" Zoro asked.

"That's what he said but he isn't much better. When we arrived they all got into the costume boxes, even Sanji."

Zoro snickered to himself as he took a swig of grog.

"Really? Whatever costume it was it must have been very tempting." Robin hinted...already knowing this story.

"Well the rest dressed kind of like someone they related to or admired. Usopp was a pirate captain and Luffy was a t-rex."

Robin smiled.

"It's who they relate too on some deep level."

"The cook was some famous chef or gigolo, right?" Zoro remarked as he feigned disinterest to take another swallow of his beer. Who else would Sanji admire? Perhaps some ideal girl he had his curly-browed eye on. The thought of Sanji in drag made him chuckle before his sip.

"No, a swordsman."

The booze spewed from Zoros mouth in shock as his face turned a shade of red. From the coughing, he told himself.

Robin leaned over the table and whispered into the mans ear.  
"I wonder if there's a chefs uniform in there for you? You know, if you hurry, you might actually get a chance at the real thing."

Zoro stood up a little too quickly and didn't see Nami giving a hi-five to Robins hand under the table as he left.


	4. Namis Beyatch

_**Namis Beyatch**_  
title: Namis Beyatch  
words: 235  
pairing: Sanji/Zoro  
Rating:pg-13

* * *

"But Nami-san.......Why can't I come with you?"

"Sanji-kun, we need this little vacation. You and Zoro stay here and guard my treasure while we all go see if the resort is on this side of the island or if we have to sail around."

Zoro lifted an eyebrow.

"Your treasure?"

"But why do I have to be here with this asshole?" Sanji whined.

"The navy has been in the area lately and I trust you guys to be discreet if there's trouble."

"Discreet? You hope to stay at the resort even if there's trouble?" Zoro asked incredulously.

"Leave it to me Nami-san!"

"I knew I could Sanji-Kun."

When the rest of the crew left, Zoro grabbed Sanji by the shirt and threw him down on the deck, pinning him against the wooden boards. Sanji only looked mildly surprised and didn't fight the assault.

"So I'm an asshole, am I?" The swordsman asked with a hint of superiority.

"Well of course, it is one of your few endearing qualities."

"You are Namis bitch you know that?"

"What are you jealous?"

"No one should treat you that way..."

"Not even you?"

Zoro started pulling Sanjis shirt out of his pants and whispered softly in his ear.

"I haven't yet, have I?"

Sanji moaned as Zoros hands started to smooth over his bare skin.

"No. No, you haven't"


	5. Wrong Answer Game!

_**Wrong Answer Game!**_  
title:Wrong Answer Game!  
Words:232  
pairing:Sanji/Zoro  
rating:PG-13  
Comments: Nami is a little silly in this, and well, you kind of need to have read/seen Angelic Layer to get it. Basically this is kinda weird.

"And why do you think I won't let up on the interest you owe me?" Nami returned Zoros own question with a wave of her hand.

"Because you're a b...."

Nami smiled slightly and then pointed at him in one large exaggerated motion.

"Wrong answer game!" She pulled a jar of chocolate syrup out of her bag and sprayed the swordsman with the contents. "You have half an hour to get clean by licking it off or else!" Nami pictured Zoro licking himself like a cat and snickered as she left. That would teach him.

Zoro was still licking his hand a few minutes later when Sanji stumbled upon him while taking a smoke.

"Wrong answer game, huh? There is a reason I'm so nice to Nami, you know."

Zoro looked at the cook with a look that clearly said, "Fuck you.".

"The advice comes free but if you want me to help, I'll need something more than dirty looks."

Zoro looked up suddenly at this and Sanji kissed him quickly, scraping his tongue along the swordsmans, easing the thick taste of chocolate in the mans mouth. The returned kiss encouraged Sanji to move on, licking a blob of chocolate on his neck.

"I guess I wouldn't mind some help." Zoro sighed as Sanjis tongue tickled a new place.

Sanji licked his lips before moving anxiously on.

"I didn't think you would."


	6. Love thy Weapon

_**Love thy Weapon**_  
Title: love thy weapon  
Pairing: Sanji/Zoro  
Rating: G  
word count: 289

* * *

Zoro pushed his drawer shut and paused as curiosity took over him. Sitting across the room the blond asshole chef was pulling bandages off his feet.

"Did you injure yourself, idiot?"

Sanji took out a cig and lit it before answering, leaving the bandages forgotten.

"Of course not."

Zoro walked over to the cook in some concern. The quick denial and no return of the insult were setting off alarms. Sanji just wanted the swordsman to forget what he had seen. Just leave and forget. That sure as well wasn't going to happen.

His fast approach didn't get past the blonds notice and he had a foot extended an inch from the swordsmans stomach in a heartbeat.

"What do you think you're doing asshole?"

Zoro smiled and grabbed the outstretched leg as understanding spread across the cooks face.

"Dammit."

"Just checking something..."

Zoro carefully pulled the bandages off. The final layers giving way to a thick layer of a slick greasy substance.

"Is this lotion?" Zoro asked in disbelief.

Sanji hoped forward and pushed Zoro away firmly with the forward momentum, but Zoro held tight and pulled the cook with him.

"So what! You know how much punishment my feet take? Is it okay if I want them to be soft and look like regular nice feet, and not weapons?"

Zoro pressed his thumbs into the foot, feeling the soft but tough leather. He could feel scars and bruises healing. He caressed it softly for a minute.

Sanji felt a blush come to his cheeks.

"Your feet are beautiful because they are your weapons not in spite of that." Zoro stated simply before dropping the foot to the floor before exiting for morning practice.

Sanji sat down against the wall and inhaled deeply on his cigarette.

"What the hell just happened here?"


	7. Sober man's thoughts

_**Sober mans thoughts**_  
Title: Sober mans thoughts  
words: Exactly 300  
rating: G  
Pairing: Sanji/Zoro

* * *

"Didja seee her...Zor?"

Zoro hefted his blond crew mate over his shoulder and headed out of the dank bar back toward the ship. He wondered if he should humor the cook. It wasn't often Sanji let himself be so vulnerable as to be all out, falling down, drunk. He shifted his weight so Sanjis' head could roll slightly to see him.

"Yes, yes, she was very beautiful."

"Shee was soooo nice, and smelled of berries and...and..cream. I wonder how they do that? Do ya know?"

Zoro grunted in the negative, pushing the blonds face a few inches further away as the liqueured breath actually forced the swordsman to wince.

"No... I suppose you wouldn't...." His voice took on a more wistful tone and Zoros' ears noticed the change.

"She was almost perfect."

Zoro sighed in frustration. Why did the pervert want to torture himself like this?

"So why didn't you go home with her? With any with them?"

"Because...they aren't you."

Zoro stopped and regarded the blond. Even Sanji in his drunken state realized something had just slipped.

"I mean, obviously the crew would send you to come and get me and...and you wouldn't be able to find me if I wasn't with you. I mean...I don't want to want to... be with you... but how would I get home? Come on now, let's get going!"

Zoro smirked and continued the trudge. So Sanji didn't want to want him? Several things made sense suddenly, their bickering, how despite Sanjis good looks nothing ever developed between him and the flocks of girls he chased, and why Sanji even allowed Zoro to carry him like this without complaint. Sanji nuzzled Zoros neck absently before falling asleep an the mans shoulder. The swordsman patted the blond hair...

"When you want to...I'll be here."


	8. Some Wounds

_**Some wounds**_  
title: Some wounds  
words:247  
pairing: Zoro/Sanji  
rating; G

* * *

Zoro watched as Usopp pulled his wound closed and began the stitching. The swordsman took a swig of grog to dull the ache and stopped as his eyes caught sight of Namis few barely-there scrapes being doted over by the stupid cook.

He sponged her gently with warm water and told her in whispered tones how brave she had been and how amazing she was. The blonds precious hands were wrapping the bandages with care.

Sanji had been injured too, almost as bad as Zoro had, and yet he had run over to Nami as soon as he saw her.

That would never be him. Zoro would never be looked at by Sanji with those eyes or touched by him in that way. Never. And he could never let him know he would have like to have been.

"How's that feel?" Usopp asked as he took a look at his handy work.

"It hurts." grumbled Zoro as he got up, thanked Usopp, and walked over to Sanji.

He hit him firmly on the head.

"Idiot! You have injuries too! Luffy will want food when he wakes up."

Sanji looked torn between staying saying some wise ass comment, kicking Zoro in the head, or debating who he was going to ask for help.

"I sure as hell don't want your help," Sanji stated a little slowly.

Zoro bopped him on the head again before dragging him off.

"We'll you're going to get it anyway and like it, dammit!"


	9. Icy and Fire

_**Icy N fire**_  
Title: Icy N Fire  
Pairing: Sanji/Zoro  
Words:224  
rating: Pg-13  
comments: FLuff? Maybe, its hard to say since it's in one of those universes that takes for granted that all the boys have mad monkey love when no one is looking...

* * *

There was a drawer that no one ever mentioned in the boys bunk. It held...supplies, one could say. The things that kept several healthy young men sane over long sea voyages.

Some things made sense to Zoro, dirty books, lube, condoms, magazines for every taste...but among some other questionable things there was one innocent looking tube that always baffled the swordsman.

"This? This is mine." Sanji answered displaying the tube for Zoros inspection, after the topic came up after one midnight romp.

"What the hell is it?"

"Icy N Fire, it's an ointment for sore muscles, I would have guessed you of all people would have used it before. "

"You have sore muscles do you?" Zoro chuckled lightly as he rubbed the blonds naked shoulders. Sanji used all his willpower not to let a moan of pleasure slip through his lips.

"It wouldn't be in that drawer, if that was it's purpose."

"Oh?"

"I got it for you, dumb ass. You're the one who's going to need it after being with me for so long."

Zoro just gave Sanji a look that said he wasn't buying it. The cook hesitated before continuing with an explanation.

"First it's cold and a pain to put up with ,but after some rubbing it gets hot and soothing. I guess it reminds me of something...when I'm alone."


	10. Waiting invitation

_**Waiting Invitation**_  
Title:Waiting Invitation  
pairing: Sanji/Zoro  
words:243  
pairing: pg-13

* * *

Sanji got the sensation something was wrong before he could place his finger on what it was. As the answer came to him he forgot about the laundry basket he was holding, letting it slip from his hands to hit the floor as he instead pointed wide mouthed at Zoro. Naked. Zoro was naked.

The swordsmans feet were up on the small laundry room table as Zoro leaned back and forth in the wooden chair, hands casually behind his head. Could he be on any further display? Sanji couldn't fathom it, and was a little disturbed at his minds willingness to try. He tried to push out the thoughts by thinking how unsanitary that chair had to be.

"WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU DOING!?"

"Laundry."

Sanji wanted to throttle him but his body was giving him signs that controlling himself (if he got closer to the naked man) might become difficult.

"I guessed that! I mean, why are you naked? "

"Clothes are being washed."

"Everything?"

"Everything."

The cook wanted to question why he hadn't saved something to wear, but he was sure that he could figure the answer. To Zoros logic, why do two loads? It made sense in a way.

"There's room with my stuff..."

There was an invitation in Zoros voice.

Sanji looked down at his laundry- then to the chair across from Zoro at the table. His fingers loosened the tie and began to pull at his buttons.

"Thanks."


	11. Plans and Sacrifice

_**Plans and Sacrifice**_  
Title: Plans and Sacrifice  
Pairing: Zo/San  
Words: 170ish  
Rating: pure G  


* * *

"We will be noticed unless if we sneak in as couples!" Usopp reiterated while the crew got dressed. "It will work! We go in then Sanji and Zoro will distract the crowd..."

"Why us?" Zoro grumbled.

"Because we have the best footwork.. " Sanjis foot connected firmly to the back of the swordsmans head before coming back to rest on the deck. Zoro growled and turned ready to finish the fight so eagerly thrown on him.

"What I don't understand is WHY am I the girl? I'm taller! The natural dashing leading man type!"

His blond hair blended seamlessly into the flowing ringlets of golden tresses. A red sequined dress shimmered over the outline of his new false curves.

Zoro gulped.

"Wow..." Nami murmered.

"Maybe Sanji is the only distraction we need!" Usopp considered after his own silent moment.

Zoro thought about all the men pawing at Sanji, much like the chef himself would at such a beauty and grabbed Sanjis wig off his head in one movement.

"Give it here. He'd be useless in such a tight dress anyway. "


	12. Chapter 12

Title: Now it's Official!  
Rating: PG  
Words: 371ish  
pairing: San/Zo

* * *

Zoro grunted as he took note that the chef had stolen his laundry. He sighed when he additionally realized the fool had taken his swimsuit to wash too. Swimsuits don't need washing. They are more of a rinse/dry sort of item but since their 'unofficial' get together Sanji seemed to be doing more random annoying things like this.

Still all that was beside the point. He needed a suit quick or he was going to be left behind to find his way by himself to where ever the group was going. He'd rather not be lost.

He spied Sanjis laundry basket and grinned with the thought of revenge. He pulled out a tight black suit bottom. He was more of a trunks kind of guy but he squeezed into them and pulled his pants over them. The chef stole his suit so it was only fair.

They felt tight and clung strangely. He almost snorted when he thought he felt a trace of padding but its placement didn't make sense so he ignored it.

Later at the lake Zoro took off his pants and headed for the water last. Nami elbowed Sanji and snickered. Sanji was turning red.

"Looks good Zoro, Is this a new look?"

Usopp noticed the commotion and appraised the situation. Snapped his fingers when he figured out the answer, then blushed and looked away. Luffy didn't mince words.

"Eh, Zoro...your bottom half looks like Nami! Why?"

Zoros face drained of color and he looked at Sanji hoping the blond would admit to being the suits true owner, but the chef had somehow gotten a nose bleed and wasn't paying attention.

"I believe those are the novelty ones Sanji gave me last Christmas. You can keep it Zoro, it fits you better! You don't even need the bikini top!" Nami shouted from the water.

Zoro quickly turned and headed quickly for his pants and tried to think of what Nami could be talking about. Then froze and looked over his shoulder to his behind. It was indeed padded and shaped in such a way he could have sworn it was Namis and what bothered him most about it wasn't that the crew had a good view of this; but, in fact was what else greeted his eyes in glaringly pink girlish writing against the butt of the black suit.

"Sanjis Favorite Thing"


	13. Chapter 13

_**How the Grandline got a little Gayer**_  
Title: Cursed? How the Grandline REALLY became grand...(well for fangirls)  
Words:299  
Rating: eh pg  
Comments: Nami getting cursed really started the adventure (at least she thinks so)...and a hint of yuri?

* * *

Nami could admit looking back now...that maybe she was a teensy bit rude to the woman she had suspected stealing her change from the merchant. She would even admit that she had indeed been cursed by the woman. What she had the must trouble admitting was that such a stupid, ridiculous curse would affect her so much.

She hadn't known then why the granny had stopped the argument so suddenly to inquire if it was Zoro (who was looking quite bored holding the supplies) or Sanji (who was flattering her about something) that was her boyfriend. Before she could even muster an answer, the lady smirked and sneered that it didn't even matter since now she was cursed.

Nami had discovered her "missing" change in a hole in her pocket lining and just laughed an apology on the way out.

She hadn't had a good sleep for months now.

It had taken her a while to figure it out, the details of the curse. Then it all began to fall into place....Zoro sneaking into the bathroom when she was sure Sanji was in the shower. Usopp and Luffys games ending in a very early bedtime. A veritable free for all whenever Ace visited.

Apparently any man within fifty feet of her would desire to channel any lusty energy with an attractive male. At least that's what she thought, she was too embarrassed to ask for details.

Nami blushed as she pushed the pillow further into her ears trying to muffle the scream of passion that had to have been Usopp. She really just wanted to get to sleep and maybe find the cure to the curse. For now though, all she could do was pray that they at least get another female crew member to keep her company when sleep wouldn't come.


	14. Chapter 14

_**Wins for a reason**_  
title:Wins for a reason  
Words:298  
Pairing: hmmm.. Luffy-Sanji/Zoro  
topic:Games  
Rating: Pg-13

* * *

"STOP IT! NO MORE FIGHTING!" Luffy hollered as he pried his cook and swordsman apart for what seemed like the 3rd fight today. "Sanji! You stay on this side of the deck. Zoro, this side. Now you can't cross it unless you have enough to mark your path!" Luffy proclaimed while handing out two pieces of rope that didn't hope to make it to the center. "It's like a game!"

Luffy found a nice vantage point on the upper deck and sat to watch.

Zoro looked to his limp piece of rope and scoffed.

"Stupid cook...now we're apart of some stupid game!"

"Ftt. Don't blame it on me! You started it!"

"No- but I'll finish it!" The threat hung in the air for less then a second.

"Come on then!" Sanji urged.

Both men started placing their rope on the ground to get closer to better threaten the other. After running out of rope, Zoro dropped his shirt to the ground to extend the line and grinned smugly at the cook. No help needed in kicking that guys ass.

Sanji wouldn't be out done and dropped his tie gaining even more progress to striking distance.

Usopp plopped down next to Luffy and watched as Sanji and Zoro snarled at each other, each choosing to strip off a piece of clothing in order to get closer to beating the other into a bloody pulp.

"You know, in a minute those two are going to be completely naked grappling each other..." Usopp looked over to his captain as he heard a strange 'ree ree' sound that led to a disposable camera. "You know I think everyone underestimates you."

Luffy grinned but didn't look away from the ensuing naked scuffle, clicking off pictures one after another.

"Could be. I tend to win and get what I want more than you'd expect."


	15. Chapter 15

_**A game of distraction**_  
title: A game of distraction  
pairing: Sanji/Zoro  
rating: Nc17  
words:393  
Games theme

* * *

It was a game they played sometimes. Each man took two minute turns, whoever turned the other one on first could ask a favor of the other. There were rules. You could only use your hands and even those couldn't stray more than a few inches to the groin. The only other rule was since the favor could be anything, it had to remain a secret.

Sanjis hands reached out for his turn and began to barely flick the surface of the skin leading from Zoros neck to the delicate backside of his arms.

Zoro knew the key to win this game was distraction. He could tell he was close to winning his last turn when the cook bite the inside of his cheek. He blocked out the ticklishly pleasant sensations and tried to decide what his favor would be when he won.

Zoro smiled at the memory of his last win. Every instance that following week that Sanji had been caught by Zoro fawning over the girls...Sanji had to put that wagging tongue to good use and give him a blow job. Zoro had never had so much head in all his life. Something like that would be good. Something where the cook himself would be at fault.

If the cook won...he would probably ask to dominate him again. To top him anyway he pleased or however long. Zoro wasn't about to have that happen again. It had been so embarrassing to see butchers twine that had bound him to the bed posts to be used to tie the roast for that nights dinner. Like the cook was showing off the knots the swordsman had moaned the cooks name against just hours earlier.

Zoro ignored the hand that began to rub his chest and instead decided that when he won he would take Sanji. Take him and for every embarrassingly pleasurable and perverse act the cook did to him he would return ten times as intense. He ran through each event in his brain and tried to think of things that he could do that would make the cook squirm and blush.

"Did I win again?" Sanjis voice cut into Zoros fantasy.

The evidence was obvious and at attention.

"Must have let me win, eh?" Sanji teased. Zoro grunted as he pushed his traitorous cock down. Once this was taken care of, there was always next time.


	16. Chapter 16

Title: Zoro only takes his Sake straight  
Rating: tame  
Word Count: 243  
Pairing: Sanji/zoro  
Topic: Anti

* * *

Sanji sighed at the situation, put a cigarette to his lips and steeled his spirit before entering the bathroom again.

There, sitting on the floor, Zoro didn't even bother to wipe the tears off his red cheeks as he looked up to the cooks entrance.

His eyes were still red from crying and met the cooks with a pleading and desperate look. New tears started to form and his voice wavered involuntarily.

"Tell me…they don't know…."

Sanji felt a pang of guilt at the pitiful scene before him and tossed a bottle of pills to the swordsman.

"No. They don't know." Sanji looked away as Zoro took the pills. He contemplated how to break the tension and start an argument…anything to make the tears fade from his memory. He could start with accusing the idiot of not telling him he was allergic to the East Blue sea grass pollen. Sanji would never have bought that new Sake infused with it if he had known. Because of him they had a swordsman who had locked himself in the bathroom while his body betrayed him.

Sanji was surprised when Zoro grabbed his arm behind his back and whispered harshly in his ear…

"I owe you some tears…cook."

The blond banished the sly smile from his lips as he reached over and locked the door. Not exactly what he was planning, but it could be even better.

"I hope you have some stamina left …I won't cry as easy as you."


	17. Chapter 17

_**Boyfriend drabble.**_  
TItle: I wanna take you to a gay bar...just not now.  
words: 268  
rating: G  
topic: Boyfriend  
notes: considering making a sequel  
Pairing: Sanji/zoro

* * *

"Okay- starting now you two are boyfriends!" Luffy stated as he pointed to Sanji and Zoro with finality. Sanji seemed to have some sort of problem with this.

"Oi! Don't decide things on your own!"

"It's all in an effort to get Namis map back…" Usopp prompted.

Sanji felt his initial flat out refusal stumble at this. Somehow Namis map (that had been hastily scrolled on a 100 Berri note) ended up in the possession of a man that had been at Vivis' bachelorette party the night before. Said man apparently could only be found at a Male Exclusive club with a very aggressive bouncer.

Wait. Why was there a guy at the party? If they just needed someone to serve drinks, he could have…

"You two really are the ideal choice." Robin added interrupting the cooks thoughts. Sanji made a face at this as he tried to figure out what she meant by this.

"You scared you couldn't handle being my boyfriend?" Zoro scoffed. "I don't blame you…I wouldn't go easy on you."

"Who's scared?!" Sanji shouted as he whirled around to confront the swordsman. For some reason getting so close to the idiots face made him feel uneasy and he sighed, easing back into a relaxed position. He wasn't going to win this and it was for Nami-san. He and Zoro boyfriends…he hadn't wanted it like this, but it would be a safe way to test the waters.

"Fine, I'll do it."

Nami came out with a pile of leather in her arms and a big smile on her face.

"Good! Because I got your outfits all ready!


	18. Chapter 18

Title: Hell for Leather (Gay bar part 2)  
rating: PG 13  
Pairing: Sanji/Zoro  
Words:188  
Topic: boyfriend

* * *

Nami had split the difference and Zoro was glad he was only stuck playing dress up from the waist up. His black leather vest was pretty comfortable and showed his muscles off nicely. Not that he would care about that sort of thing normally. His eyes drifted to the chef in front of him. His boyfriend. For tonight anyway.

Sanji had to wear the leather from the waist down and these black leather pants were leaving nothing to the imagination. Every movement seemed to conspire to bring attention to areas Zoro wasn't entirely comfortable thinking about in such detail.

Zoro nearly choked as the blonds hand reached back and seemingly rubbed his own tight ass. And again, stroking. This time slower. And then again even slower.

Was the damn cook trying to get him worked up?!

Sanji groaned in frustration as his other hand joined in the effort searching out his ass.

"Hey- shithead…do you have any room in your pants?" Sanji held up his pack of cigs and lighter in question. "No pockets."

"Not anymore." Thought Zoro, But took the box and lighter anyway.


	19. Chapter 19

Title: Acting Boyfriend (Gay bar part 3)  
words: 300  
rating: pg13  
topic: boyfriend  
pairing: Sanji/zoro

* * *

For some reason after taking his cigs, Zoro had zoomed ahead of him to the door of the club. Sanji frowned as he caught up, hoping that the cause of this behavior wasn't the result of catching him appreciating how Zoros chest seemed to be emphasized in the leather vest.

The large bouncer considered the pair.

"I've never seen you two before…"

Sanji pushed forward..

"We're just pirates," he said with a friendly wink.

"Yeah, looking for some booty." Zoro added in a way that gave Sanji pause. His tone implied his mind was far into the gutter. Pretty rare for Zoro. Nah. Maybe he was just a better actor than he had thought.

The bouncer looked skeptical.

"And you two are together?"

Zoro grabbed Sanjis ass and pulled the blond into him, kissing him so suddenly that he stood stunned as a tongue forced it's way into his mouth. The swordsman pulled away…just as Sanji was thinking of responding.

"Yeah, this hot ass belongs to me."

The bouncer gave them an amused and approving look.

"Obviously."

Moments later the two were in the bar and in the loud music and flashing lights, Sanji grabbed Zoros vest, still quite aware of how red his face still was. He hoped it came off as anger but with the smirk on the idiots face didn't seen likely.

"You..!!"

"What? You're my boyfriend, right?"

Sanji grumbled as he let go. Simple minded idiot.

"Just didn't think you'd be such a good actor." Sanji said off handedly as he headed into the crowd.

"I'm going to the bar…" Zoro shouted over the increasing volume of noise.

"Fine."

Sanji nearly jumped as Zoros mouth was suddenly next to his ear..

"Oh- and I'm NOT acting…so keep my property safe until I come back for it."


	20. Chapter 20

Title: Rumpshaken, not stirred (gay Bar 4)  
words: 300  
Rating:pg13/r-ish?  
Pairing: Sanji/Zoro  
topic: Boyfriend

* * *

Zoro felt pretty lucky. The perfect opportunities just seemed to present themselves sometimes. He got to feel up the cook, kiss him, and shake him up all with in two minutes.

A drink appeared on the bar and the bartender held out a fan of Berries. He saw the markings of a hand-drawn map in Namis scrawl on one of them.

He was FUCKING lucky.

"What's this for?"

"Your boyfriend."

"Excuse me?"

"For an hour."

"No."

"Half hour."

"No."

"To have him remove his shirt and shake his ass..."

Zoro considered this image.

"…for the entire bar."

Zoro ignored the bartender as he noticed a spider skittering across the bar. Sanji was working his way through the crowd toward him. Oh man, this was going to be good.

"You were at a party last night?"

"How did you know?"

"Just don't let this idiot know that he is duplicating your other line of work."

"What?"

"What I mean is we have a deal…" Zoro responded as he shoved the bills in his pocket.

Sanji glared at the swordsman.

"EXCUSE ME….you were saying something very interesting just now…nothing of mine belongs to you."

"Sure it does…you just don't know it." Zoro snarked as he placed the spider on Sanjis shoulder.

He noticed it 3 seconds later. The shirt came off in a panic. There was much ass shaking as Zoro called out the spiders new supposed location (usually on different sides of the cooks belt).

Finally, Sanji slid down the bar wall. Zoro joined him and gave him a glass.

"This isn't what I thought being your boyfriend would be like."

Zoro smiled.

"It gets better."

"Oh?"

"I have the map. The drinks are on me. And the crew doesn't expect us back till morning."

Zoro was lucky. BIG time.


	21. Chapter 21

_**A little ditty...**_  
Title: Unfinished business  
Topic: Reason for being.  
word: 300ish  
Pairing: sanji/zoro/luffy however you please  
rating: One naughty word  
Note: this is also in regaurds to chapter 485...

* * *

Zoro was eating again. Sanji smiled to himself, that meant it was time to address some "unfinished business" without worry.

Zoro wasn't actually all that surprised that Sanji had burst into the room with seemingly no respect for the fact he was trying to heal. Nor was he stunned when the chefs black boot landed across his chest inches away from the worst of his wounds sending a wave of mild pain through him. Zoro expected this. No…he expected worse actually, the boots impact had felt harsh but since the injuries hadn't increased at all and the pain had been mild…Sanji was being annoyingly careful without saying so.

The blonds face took on a glare one would expect from yakuza as he leaned in menacingly.

"Is that how you treat a comrade you shitty swordsman?!!"

"Hnn?? I don't know what you are talking about…"

"Don't play dumb with me…you KNOW what I'm talking about."

"Luffy loves your cooking. He is worthless if he's hungry anyway…."

"No way, am I accepting that shitty answer! Luffy fucking loves your questionable skills just as much…and you've been together since the longest." Sanji ground his boot in a little more for emphasis.

"In the end, if I could knock you out so easily then you would have died and Luffy taken anyway. Do you think I'd be happy to keep living with that result? It's better that my life is on the line."

"Che," Sanji returned his leg to the ground and lite his cigarette. "What a selfish idiot…like we'd be happy with you doing that. Stupid Idiot!" He started for the door in annoyance.

"Oh…and I better see that ugly mug of yours at dinner tonight it's been too long already."

Protecting those important people and promises...was the reason for being for more than one of the strawhat crew after all.


	22. Chapter 22

Title: Dreams you can change  
Pairing: ZoSan  
words:285  
rating: Hmm..pg13  
notes: I've always wanted to get around to writing a fanfic where sanji really is some exiled prince but alas...I'll use it for some porn plot bunnies for now.

* * *

It was idiotic, even for him. The whole situation...

Him? A prince? Of Retardia?

Zoro didn't know what was stupider- that there was really a kingdom named that or that the crews chef that had been happily gutting a fish aboard the ship yesterday was now sitting on a throne telling him to leave him behind.

The swordsman was somewhere between stunned and furious.

"You see, there was a takeover when I was just a kid. I was smuggled out of the country and told to hide my royal lineage. It was hard you know...you can't take the prince out of a...prince, I guess." He laughed nonchalantly but Zoro sensed a fakeness behind the exuberance.

Sanji was torn again over some sense of duty. The kingdom had done fine all this time with out him. There had to be something he could do to make him come back to the ship with him.

"Poor Nami...she could have had a prince this whole time...hell a whole kingdom."

That's when Zoro made the realization.

Confusion had crossed the blonds face.

"Who?"

This was a dream. Then another realization...you can control your dreams. An evil smile formed on his lips as he changed it more to his liking.

"Oi- What exactly do princes of Retardia do?"

"To sexually satisfy anyone who requests it in anyway they wish, of course. Wait... that doesn't sound right..."

"No? I already have some duties for you to fulfill on that front though..."


	23. Chapter 23

Title: Lemon yellow

Words: 105

Topic: lemon

Pairing: Zoro-Sanji

Rating: tame

* * *

His hair was yellow. Like a lemon. But that wasn't the only thing.

The cooks appearance was often sharp like his mind and his fighting style was strong with a zing. Not unlike the taste of the yellow citrus.

His versatility was something to see. A real jack of all trades.

He was fresh and his tongue acidic.

Sometimes he even smelled of the fruit, although that could be from cooking with them or being around Namis trees.

And while the cooks disposition was sour towards him….Zoros lips would curl into a pucker sometimes in completely different thoughts.

Zoro preferred things that weren't too sweet.


	24. Chapter 24

_**Zoro 1st**_  
Title: Advice recycled  
pairing: Sanji/zoro  
topic: 1st person  
rating:pg13  
words:291

* * *

The sensei once told me, "Never hesitate if a skilled opponent appears before you and defeats you. You must not pity yourself. Stand and rejoin the fight or train so the next time they are the ones defeated."

That I think of that now seems a little pathetic. Not in the middle of battle but after sex. I hadn't been defeated…but…the chef was too skilled. Heh. That sounds like a perfect opening. Maybe I'll use that when he wakes up and trys to brag in that obnoxious way he does.

He'd say, " Oi Zoro! I thought someone aiming to be the best swordsman would have more stamina. It couldn't be that when you were screaming out it was in frustration that you came so fast?"

It still pisses me off. Those damn hands…they were too precise…and too eager to rob me of any control over the situation.

Anyway…when he says all that shit I can say, "It must be that you've had too much practice jacking yourself off thinking about me." Or maybe a simple "Even an idiot can get proficient in something with enough practice."

Huh? If the idiot keeps moving around like that the sheet will fall off him. See, told you.

Huh……impressive in the light I guess.

So he hadn't even bothered to put his boxers back on. How can he sleep like that? So open and vulnerable. It would serve him right if I touched him now, show him how defenseless he really was.

Of course to look at it another way, I am just standing up and rejoining the fight. Would sensei be proud? Either way it doesn't mater.

Wake up cook…the important thing is round 2 is about to begin and you're going down.


	25. Chapter 25

Title: Gutted and the nature of it.  
Words:329  
pairing: Zoro/Sanji  
topic: Nature  
notes: death-fic...sorta  
rating: Bad word I think. Pg13

* * *

Zoro felt the tug at his heart as he observed the scene.

The blue strips along his stomach slit open, allowing the blood and organs to slip out. The curl above the emotionless glassy eye sunken. The golden yellow head now dingy with grime from the battle that fell him.

The swordsman couldn't help but feel guilt. He was responsible, his actions caused this. The poor guy, he was just riding the waves one day like the rest of them, looking for some patch of ocean. The long thin body deceptively agile and strong…giving any enemy no easy time. Zoros fight with him this very afternoon proved that. He was too formidable to die so easily.

It was the nature of death. Making you feel emotions so heavy you have to call upon your experience and training to keep it from spilling out. Making you feel like, maybe it would have been better if you'd never gotten involved with them at all, better if you had kept your distance from the very start. But the passion you felt was real. You could resist all you wanted but death would come soon enough…when you weren't ready for it.

The knife came down in a firm chop, and the chef blew smoke out the side of his mouth as he regarded the swordsman. The now headless fish was already being filleted on the cutting board while Sanji didn't break the eye contact, his knife work flawless.

"Is that what you were waiting for or did you want me to give it last rites?" Sanji sneered playfully.

"Che. Barbarian cannibal." The swordsman hissed back. He turned to leave the galley as the cooks mouth dropped open in confusion and horror at being called such a thing.

"ME?!! YOU'RE the one that caught the damn shitty fish!"

He couldn't help but grin at the reaction.

Maybe the nature of death and the nature of love were identical as far as the cook was concerned.


	26. Chapter 26

Title: Mushrooms are powerful  
Rating:PG13ish  
Word Count: 446  
Pairing: Sanji/Zoro  
Topic: Nature

* * *

Sanji found Chopper holding two identical books one in each paw. The cook plucked the more worn copy from the doctors grip.

"What a coincidence, that was exactly the book I was looking for."

Chopper regarded the man as he already was flipping through the pages before smiling.

"I guess it would make sense we would both have that book, The Mushroom Index would be useful for doctors and cooks. Amazing the kind of tasty delights or medicinal poisons nature can produce, huh?" The cook nodded and brought a mushroom out from his pocket and compared its markings to the page he just found. Sanji lit a cigarette after he read the selection and sighed.

"Figures. Hey, Chopper…were you about to look up this mushroom?" He held up the pages and the mushroom that matched the picture between his thumb and other fingers.

"Yes! Usopp found lots on the island and he brought me some in case I could use it." Chopper came closer and read the entry. "Whoa. It's pretty dangerous that they have such a powerful aphrodisiac growing so abundantly here…looks like it shuts down inhibitions completely…scary."

"Could you make some antidote for this? Luffy hasn't come back yet and I don't think any of us have the energy to deal with him if he stupidly ate a bunch."

"Sure I'll make up an antidote. Should I make a few in case the others ate some too?" Chopper was already taking getting out the materials he needed from his bag.

"Nah...the girls are smart, they wouldn't just eat something they knew nothing about. Franky and Brook were on the ship so they should be fine."

Chopper looked up. The one he immediately had worried about after Luffy hadn't been mentioned.

"Zoro?"

Sanji took a drag on his cigarette.

"The shitty idiot brought me some to cook with. I told him I had to check before I did anything with them. He called me a pussy and popped a handful into his mouth." The grin Sanji gave the doctor made Chopper back up. "When his attitude, uh, changed…I thought I better check and make sure he wasn't about to die or anything."

"I need to hurry then and make another cure then!" The reindeer seemed to panic.

Sanji started toward the door.

"Take your time. He deserves what he gets, it's called 'natural selection'. I'll work it out of him the old fashioned way." Sanji flashed a carnivorous smile as he exited to where he had left his prey.

Meanwhile, a very frustrated swordsman was grinding himself needfully against the wall where the cook had hog tied him…unaware that retribution for calling Sanji a pussy was quickly approaching.


	27. Chapter 27

Title: Naked trust..DAMMIT.  
Pairing: Zoro/Sanji  
Rating: R or maybe more. Naughtyness.  
Topic: Nude beach  
words:299

* * *

Zoro thought he could sleep through anything. Hell. EVERYONE thought he could sleep through anything. Until just this moment he had no reason to think that wasn't the case.

The blond cook was asleep next to him. Naked. Sure the cook had slept next to him before, but never naked. Even after sex, the chef would typically go clean up and put on pajamas or after a particularly tiring session pull on boxers.

Sanji never explained but Zoro knew. Sanji hated being perceived as weak. As vulnerable. He probably would prefer no one watch him sleep at all.

The nude beach had left the girls back in the Sunny for their privacy and the men laying in the soft sand, enjoying the break and all but Zoro naked and asleep. Well Zoro was naked, just not asleep.

He was only an outstretched arm away. All the swordsman would have to do was put forth the effort and he could have a handful of cook at his mercy. He could probably stroke him to orgasm in front of everyone before the rest of the guys woke up. Or more.  
He could do more to him. Make him beg for it too.

BUT if he did… the cook probably wouldn't sleep naked again. Even if he denied it, and even if the cook proclaimed it to be okay…a trust will have been broken. The blond had fallen asleep naked, thinking, trusting that he would be okay and no one would abuse his vulnerability.

That trust was enough to stay Zoros hand. Well, his hand on Sanji anyway. No one said Zoro couldn't touch himself. His body was offering an open invitation and he was more than willing to answer it himself.

He could always have the real thing later. Bastard Ero-cook.


	28. Chapter 28

Title: The best things in life are free (although occasionally rented)  
Topic:Free  
Pairing: Sanji/Zoro  
Rating: G  
Words: 343

* * *

"How much do you think Sanji-kun would fetch?" Nami asked off offhandedly as she gnawed at the tip of her pencil in thought. Knowing for a fact no one else was in the room, Zoro cracked open an eye in amusement.

"Fetch? Like a stick?" He snickered at the image of the blond as a puppy for a moment.

Nami looked pointedly at swordsman.

"You weren't paying attention during the meeting, were you? We're going to have a bachelor auction to earn some money for the village. I need to know what Sanjis' starting bid should be…. SO Zoro…How much would you pay to take Sanji home with you?"

"Nothing."

"Zoro, I'm not about to give you Sanji-kun for free!"

That's okay, he does a fine job of that himself already, Zoro thought to himself but remained silent. Why would he pay for something he got for free… but then again if he wanted that to continue being the case, perhaps he shouldn't get so close to the truth.

"I mean, wouldn't the idiot go home with any girl for free?" Zoro tried for a plausible lie.

"True, but not only do they not know that tidbit but men can bid too."

Zoro sat up a little straighter. Ah maybe it was worth it to pay, if just to avoid him going home with someone else.

"Nami, how much do you think he'd sell for?" Suddenly active in the conversation seriously. Nami put a hand to her forehead in frustration before letting her fist fly, knocking him up side the head.

"THAT'S What I've been asking you!! How much do you think he's worth?!"

No. The damn cook was priceless, and more than he could ever afford if it was a question of worth. For a villiage with only a few scattered pockets of wealth…Sanji would be stolen away for much less. Zoro asked the question more directly so she could understand.

"What I mean is…How much am I able to borrow from you?"

She paused for a second, stunned, before smirking.

"Enough."


	29. Chapter 29

_**Cocktails? Well, you're half right.**_  
Title: Cocktails? Well, you're half right.  
Pairing: Sanji/Zoro  
Words: 282  
Topic: Free  
rating: Pg  
Note: sequel to other thing..

* * *

"Oi…Chef..about tonights' auction thing…."

"Hnnnn….?" Came the reply as Sanji adjusted his tie in the mirror.

"What would you do if a man won you?" Zoro asked, unsure how he'd like the blond to respond, considering he was aiming to be the one to claim the chef. Too eager and it would be like the chef would go with anyone, too cold and fuck he didn't know what that meant but he was positive it would be bad.

"A man…hmm…" Sanji considered as his eyes slide to Zoro for a second before returning to the mirror. "I guess I'd have to see what he had in mind and be as accommodating as I could… depending on what it was.'

Zoro wondered would it would be like for Sanji to be accommodating for once. The thought was foreign but enticing and cemented his desire to win the bastard.

"What about you Marimo?"

"What about me?"

"If YOU were won by a man, idiot."

"WHAT?! I'm doing this too!? "

"Of course…WE committed ourselves to help the village idiot. Not just me. Were you asleep during the meeting or something?"

Zoro growled in frustration.

"Dammit... I guess I have to make it so no one bids on me." He leaned in over Sanjis' shoulder and practiced his 'scary as hell' face in the mirror. "I have other plans tonight. "

"You won't be free afterward? I was going to make post-fundraiser cocktails…"

"I don't need your fru fru shit."

Zoro smirked as Sanji rose and the inevitable fight he invited began.

He just didn't have the heart to tell the cook that 'Bartender' was not the position he would be assuming later on that evening.


	30. RP time!

Title: RP time!  
Pairing: Sanji/zoro  
words 229  
topic: Classics  
rating: R

* * *

Zoros' turn tonight. Sanji wasn't fully certain that his increased pulse was of dread or anticipation. Well whatever the swordsman chose to do, he supposed it would be okay with him. Sanji could take it like a man after all and the humiliation would still be worth his turn last week.

Sanji snickered at the memory as he approached the private room, Zoro had rented for the evening. The memory of "rescued sweet virgin princess Zoro" showering him with thanks that could only be described as obscene, was well worth whatever the hell the other man thought up.

In the room the cook was a little taken a back. His classic black suit and blue striped shirt lay neatly on the bed. He hadn't worn it in quite awhile he realized upon seeing it again. Zoro was behind him and growled into his ear.

"It's like this. You are the you at the beginning, back when you thought you could never be with a man…let alone me. We'll get into one of our typical scuffles…and I'll make you see how wrong you are."

Sanji picked up the suit with care…careful not to betray his inner embarrassment at how innocent and naive he had been back then.

"The beginning, huh? Feeling nostalgic?"

"Nah, but with your fucked up imagination…I'll be the one to benefit if I can make you appreciate the classics."


	31. His nature and theirs

Title: His nature and theirs  
pairing:Sanji----Zoro/Luffy  
words:258  
Topic: Nature  
rating: R  


* * *

Sanji was not a big fan of wild untamed nature, per say. He was a chef and that meant certain things like keeping bugs and pests out, keeping surfaces clean, and taking natures greatest gifts and (if you're skilled) coaxing something even better from them.

In the heart of the matter it pointed to Sanjis' very being. Minimize outside influence and improve on what you can. The chefs kitchen was a wonderment to organized control and purpose. His clothing, always tidy and flattering his features to the best effect. His hair just so.

Yet his dream was an untamed wild piece of nature that might not even exist. All Blue. It calls to him. He is drawn by the rawness of it's power despite himself.

Zoro and Luffy laying fully spread open, naked and sandwiched between the days sunshine and the forests grassy edge. The cook was drawn in by it at once and yet horrified by it. Vulnerable. Not only to the elements but any creature or bug passing by. And then there was the fact they were being seen by the chef and anyone else as they were, no flaw hidden…all ugliness they possess on display as if proud.

He was a little jealous and more than a little turned on. Sanji knew what he wanted. As he spied Luffy roll over to fall across the swordsmans' chest he turned away.

Times like this it was best to go to kitchen…or maybe take a cold shower. There was only so much nature he could take in one day.


	32. The givingreceiving connection

Title: The giving/receiving connection  
pairing: Sanji/zoro  
Words: 100  
pairing:Pg13  
topic:Nature

* * *

Give the shitty chef a piece of meat and he'll cook it up and give it back.

If you make a comment he finds insulting he'll pull out some smarmy insults and give it right back.

If you attack him he'll turn any blow you deliver into a devastating kick and give it right back.

Despite having discovered this part of Sanjis' nature, Zoro still hesitated before pushing the man into against the kitchen wall kissing that damn smirk off his face.

Sanji was stunned momentarily before slamming the swordsman on the floor and giving an impassioned kiss right back.


	33. Universal guidelines

Title: Universal guidelines  
Pairing: Sanji/Zoro  
Words: 300  
rating:pg13  
topic: Guidelines

* * *

Sanji tapped the pen to the page wondering where to start. Robin looked at him with a raised eyebrow, it wasn't often she found Sanji in such thought pen in hand.

"Thinking of a new recipe, cook-san?"

"Robin-chan! Sorry, did you want me to make something for you?" She shook her head and he quickly shot a look to the sleeping swordsman across the deck before answering. "I thought I would write down all the qualities of my perfect love, in order to better make a poem for you and Nami-san later."

"Interesting. Did you know some earth based schools of thought think if you spend the energy and ask the universe for what you want without out being too specific, it'll send you what you ask? Although not always what you expect."

Sanji looked interested but skeptical.

"Really?"

"Yes, as far as I read you just write the guidelines for the universe to follow and then plant or burn your list when finished." She smiled as she watched the cook scowl at the page and excused herself to leave him alone with his thoughts.

The cook slowly began to write across the page.

Body: In good health, strong, attractive, active sex drive  
Mind: Focused, determined, good judge of character, wise,  
Personality: Passionate, kind, strong willed, someone who can challenge and excite me, strong integrity, honest, indomitable spirit  
Emotional: Likes, respects, and is equally attracted to me.

Growing embarrassed, he promptly threw the list away.

He hadn't remembered the list for months…not until Zoro had slammed him against the galley wall and running his hands down the cooks body. Sanji tried to push him off despite returning a hot kiss.

"Don't pretend I'm not everything you want…" came a growl in his ear.

SHIT. They burned their garbage didn't they?

* * *

  
Omake:

Later, as Zoro wrapped a gentle arm around his waist Sanji felt guilt.

"You're only here because of spell." The cook confessed.

"Your stupid list thing?" Sanjis mouth open in surprise as he realized the swordsman had not perhaps been sleeping soundly that day. "I know. After I retrieved it and saw what you were after I had the confidence to try something with you. I noticed you forgot to mention 'female' on your list."

"Idiot." Sanji murmured, although not sure entirely who he had meant.

"I did burn it anyway, though. Trash is trash. I'm the real thing."

"Idiot." Sanji repeated, this time directly addressing the green haired swordsman. Luckily for Zoro, the chef had also forgotten to put 'modest' on the list.


	34. skin or play whichever is fair

Title: skin or play whichever is fair  
Pairing: Sanji/Zoro  
words:300  
rating:r for language  
topic:nude beach

* * *

He was ready for the kick aimed for him when he entered the kitchen, catching the cooks leg in his hand and adjusting the angle and momentum that had Sanji sliding into his arms and against his tan, well muscled, and very naked body.

"Shitty marimo! What do you think you're doing in my kitchen like this?!" He cursed as he struggled his way free.

"It's a nude beach, I know you were watching. Why aren't you coming out?" Fair was fair, if one got to look the other should be able too. What did he have to be scared of? "Oh." The green haired man smirked in realization.

Across the room, Sanji straightened his suit and glared, trying to keep his eyes above the waist. Trying anyway.

"What do you think you suddenly understand, shit for brains?"

Zoro held up a pinky in mock sympathy.

"Intimidated? Feeling inadequate?"

"HELL NO! Fuck! If you want to see the reason, here it is…" the red faced cook grumbled as he pulled his shirt off, revealing his pearl white skin. "My skin doesn't TAN." He looked pointedly at Zoro in annoyance. "Just burns."

"What about Sunscreen?" He returned, trying to keep the comment about how sensitive the blonds skin truly was from slipping out.

"Takes forever to apply, by the time I'm done I need to reapply. It isn't worth it, ESPECIALLY at a nude beach."

"I'll do it." Zoro commented as he closed the gap.

"WHAT!?"

"Come on out cook. I'll apply the damn lotion for you as long as you need it." He was already starting to paw the rest of Sanjis' clothes off. The touches were holding a lot more promise than UV protection.

"Alright, Dammit. You better not miss anywhere!"

Zoro couldn't wait for how thorough he planed on being..


	35. Compromise? Why?

Title:Compromise? Why?  
Pairing: Sanji/Zoro  
rating: R (language)  
Topic: Compromise  
words: 297  


* * *

"Move it asshole, coming through…" Sanji went out of his way to kick the Swordsman as he passed, arms full of newly washed laundry.

"Dammit! I'm trying to sleep here…do you gotta be so damn annoying?"

"Do you have to clutter the deck with your ugly mug?" The blond shot back to Zoro glare. Couldn't the damn cook be civil for one minute?

"I don't HAVE too but I'm going to. Not like you can do anything about it."

The chef slowly pulled out a wet towel and twisted it quickly in a tight band before letting loose with a painful snap against the swordsmans arm. It was obnoxious…and for anyone else it would have been incredibly painful. A red welt rose to the surface.

Sanji went to snap at him again and a sword sliced through the fabric before it connected, leaving the cook holding what could be mistaken for a handful of damp tangled noodles. Zoro smirked at the other mans confusion and then rage.

Sanji began to stomp away with the laundry, putting a cigarette to his lips, apparently letting Zoro take the win this this time. That just meant he'd be back with retaliation soon enough. Dammit.

"Oi cook. Can't we reach some sort of compromise? Just leave me the fuck alone today and let me sleep…or try to be a little less fucking annoying at least and say tonight I let you top or do whatever."

The cook stopped mid-step and checked visually to see if there were really alone before turning and properly addressing the swordsman.

"Hate to injure your pride Marimo…but you fucking top because that's where I fucking want you. And if I want to see your ugly mug and harasses you, that's what I'm going to do.."

"Oh…never mind then."


	36. Hungry competition

Title: Hungry competition  
words: 366  
pairing: Sanji/Zoro  
topic: Class (as in weight class in organised competition)  
rating: PG  
notes: High school AU

* * *

Five pounds in five days.

Zoro looked at the bento in confusion.

"What is this?" He inquired to the blond leaning against the sakura tree.

"What's it look like?" Sanji put a cigarette to his lips and hunted for a lighter. "I notice you haven't eaten lunch in the last two days."

"I'm not hungry." The greenhaired teen lied.

"Bullshit." And as if his stomach was on the blonds side his stomach gurgled at the smell barely seeping through the closed container. Caught, he decided to come clean.

"If I don't drop five pounds by Friday, I won't be in Mihawks weight class anymore."

Sanji sighed and slid down the tree to sit next to his friend.

"A stupid macho competition? That's why you're starving yourself?" But Zoro noticed it was resigned and not holding the challenging insult as before. Sanji knew what it meant to Zoro personally, and to a lesser extent the pride of school.

Zoro nodded.

"Why didn't you come to me?" Sanji was more than a good cook, his aspirations had him researching everything from nutrition to wine pairings with sub types of mushrooms. "I could get you to your weight class without you being a weak shit when it's actually time to fight.

"I thought you'd be busy with your exams. You loose your scholarship if you don't do well right?"

"Unlike some, I don't need to study to get those type of results. Your boyfriend is pretty damn clever. You're pretty lucky."

"Well it's not your brains I'm attracted to. You should join a team…you're good. And who says you're my boyfriend?"

"Did you want my help? Because it's not too late and if I help, I'll want you to acknowledge my noble sacrifice of being without the ladies to instead be with you."

"Is it that much of a sacrifice?"

"No." The blond admitted. "But you never say how you feel."

Zoro held Sanjis hand holding the cigarette and kissed him fully, slowly, and deeply. Savoring the moment and taste.

"I'm more a man of action."

"Obviously." The cook sighed and looked away, but Zoro saw the smile and a slight blush. Cute. He really was lucky.


	37. Free too

_**A little silliness...**_  
Title: Free too  
Words:279  
Topic: Free  
rating:G  
Pairing:Sanji/Zoro  
notes: a little cracky, this one.

* * *

"You're free to flirt and chase all the women you want, I don't give a damn how big an idiot you are." Zoro said simply, trying to keep the sneer out of his voice.

"You're free to sleep sprawled out like a goddamn moron where ever you happen to fall. I don't give a shit if I end up stepping on your face." Sanji shot back, his annoyance suppressed beneath fake nonchalance.

"You're free to get your ass kicked by anything with a pair of tits."

"You're free to get lost on the way to the john."

Somehow even this had become a contest of sorts.

"Well you're free to dream of some pool of water with that dopey grin on your face, but I won't let you forget to cook dinner and do your damn job."

"Che, like I would. And you're free to go run after anyone waving a sharp stick calling it a sword and loose all the blood you want in the name of being 'the best'…but get blood in the kitchen and I'll kill you myself."

"You're free to ask for my help whenever but we both know you probably won't."

"You're free to keep me company, even if I didn't specifically invite you."

"You're free to be with whoever you want…I wouldn't want someone who didn't choose me freely and completely."

"Same to you, Marimo."

Nami leaned in to Usopp, careful not to wrinkle her bridesmaids dress.

"These are the strangest vows I've ever heard."

Usopp nodded as the men were pronounced and kissed each other in a near primal nature.

"We definitely shouldn't let them write their own…but I guess it's ok."


	38. Freeing experience

_**A little blade work too.**_  
Title:Freeing experience  
Topic: Free  
pairing: Sanji/Zoro  
rating:Rish  
words: 363

* * *

Zoro groaned as he realized he was stuck. Then a curse when he realized the damn cook was the only one around able to help him.

Sanji snickered at how helpless the swordsman seemed, his clothing sticking his entire body tightly to the weird and newly defeated slug monsters skin. Watching Zoro groan and stuggle against his clothing before he had realized the cook had been watching was incredibly satisfying.

"Shut it cook and cut me loose!"

No please, the chef noted with a smirk. He pulled out his knife case from seemingly behind his back, making the swordman wonder where the chef usually kept them.

The long blades were pulled from the case lovingly and the swordsman sighed as the blond took his sweet time examining. His annoyance turned to a begrudging amazement as Sanji began to spin and swirl the knifes between his fingers in an intricate, fast, and impressive display.

"There are things you're supposed to say, in situations like this Marimo."

The blade work was near hypnotizing but he wouldn't let the idiot know it was affecting him in the slightest.

"Fuck you."

"Wrong answer. I'm not going to free you till you say it." Sanji leaned in dangerously close to Zoros face as the knives spun dangerously but still in perfect control behind him. No good…the blade work, his frustration, post fight adrenaline, or Sanji being so close…something about the situation was turning him on and making him uncomfortably hard.

"Fine, Please..." The swordsman hissed with all the venom he could muster.

The knifes then were whirling around him, making the most accurate cuts he had ever seen. Unfortunately they were not where he had expected them to be landing.

Sanji wiped his blades and placed them back in the case as all of Zoros' clothes fell away from his body, fully exposing the man and his arousal.

"You were supposed to cut the damn slug!" Zoro screeched as he fumbled to cover himself in embarrassment.

"Like I'd let my knives touch such a gross thing! Looks like you needed some extra room in your pants anyway."

Zoro could only curse the cooks name and promise revenge later.


	39. PreNude Beach

"Hey guys! Guess what!!?"

A naked Luffy burst through the door and froze at the sight.

Sanjis' pants were loosely undone with one of his hands adjusting himself beyond the folds of the black fabric. His chest shirtless and lightly sweating. Zoro was next to him, sweating himself in the heat and totally naked except for his white shirt on one arm hovering just before being pulled up over above his head to the other arm. Both men had expressions close to shocked horror.

Their captains face contorted into disappointment. Both mens mind reeled looking for an excuse, and yet also curious as to their captains state of undress. Luffy hung his head and turned to leave.

"No fair! They already knew about the nude beach!" His shout came just as the door was slammed shut.

* * *

OMAKE:

The two men sighed.

"If he came in two minutes earlier…" Zoro started and the cook just nodded.

"Looks like we're going to be spending the day nude after all. Good thing you clean up your mess so well. You better keep it under control, I don't want us to be given away by THAT."

"That's my line to you…pervert cook, I know it must be difficult not to get hard at the sight of a real man. And it's a good thing you didn't leave any marks during your little girly squeals."

A growl came from Sanji and Zoro just snarled back.

The tension between the two crackled, but they didn't engage in it further, instead slipping off their clothing for the second time today. They start a fight now…everyone would see the result and potentially view a repeat performance of what Luffy had barely missed.


	40. Chapter 40

Title:A deal some would love  
Words: 375  
rating:g  
topic: compromise  
pairing: Sanji/Zoro

* * *

  
"This must be very important to you." The blonde woman purred into Zoros' ear as she trailed her fingertips slowly down the his paralyzed chest before pulling her stolen scroll from his haramaki.

Stillness devil fruit, huh. He hadn't counted on that. He waited patiently for her to loosen her hold on him. Even a seconds release and he could take her down, reclaim his prize, and head back to the ship.

She pulled the roll of parchment from the bag and inspected it.

"I hadn't expected you to try and steal it. That curly browed chef of yours seemed more interested in the towns All Blue journals exhibit than you earlier. Why  
Isn't he here himself?"

Zoro felt his face regain the ability to move, he supposed she actually wanted an answer then.

"Because he's an idiot." He answered honestly.

The cook had looked through the glass at the exhibit with such longing, trying to will the scroll to unfurl and let him read its secrets and clues about All Blue. However: Sanji wouldn't harm a woman in anyway and most of this towns population was female. All of the museum guards and curators were female.

Out of the corner of his eye he spotted the very chef, headed towards the two. He looked pissed. Well he had know he would be. They both hated it when others interfered even if it was help. But it was getting to the swordsman. They seemed to making such huge progress towards their dreams. All of them, save for Sanji. This wasn't like when Luffy had the answers in front of him…this was a simple lead. One the cook needed.

"Let's compromise. I'll let you keep it, and replace it with a fake."

"What did you want in exchange?"

"The chance to be a mother. Have sex with me right now, kiss me and tell him you'll be busy tonight. In the morning you'll have our towns treasure."

Shit. She knew Sanji was in range to see them.

"Sure." His body was able to move and he pulled her close his head tilted in apology as he connected in a solid headbutt knocking the woman out.

Zoro didn't compromise where his dream or his love was concerned.


	41. Chapter 41

Title: My lifeline  
WOrds: like 800? Uh. Started writing a drabble and I guess got caught up in it. Sorries.  
Pairing: Zoro/Sanji  
Rating: Pg13  
topic: Sinking  
notes: YEah..it's longer. Features some future old man Zoro and death talk...although the ending shouldn't leave any angst.

* * *

"There he is…the last one of THAT legendary crew!" One woman whispered to her friend as they passed, pointing a finger at the old man lunging on the grass with weights held over his head.

Zoro ignored the gawking tourists in his normal stoic fashion, opting instead to bring the weights down again in the same familiar rhythm. Significantly less weight then his glory days but that was just a consequence fifty years could bring.

It was surprising to him that the world still saw him as the last living crew member. Maybe it was the irony of it. The one most likely to die, out living them all. Facing swordsman after swordsman, loosing tons of blood, and then to achieve his goal and then inevitably facing all those who wanted the title for themselves. Zoro found it remarkable too…to survive this long.

He still was the strongest swordsman in the world…and at seventy. It did make him a bit of a tourist attraction…especially when he was the pirate kings first mate. In all reality though, he knew he should have lost the title years ago to a better swordsman…but none had showed up to challenge him as he thought they would.

The world had turned a corner, and with the old world government defunct (due to no small part from the legendary crew) everyone seemed more involved in trade, art, and getting involved in their own government these days. The age of pirates, age of people yearning to become the best swordsman, was for all intensive purposes over.

He had little to do these days. Training in case someone finally challenged him was one thing he enjoyed and on the weekend the islands dojo students would come find him and spar. That was fun. He also took it as his job to look intimidating in case of any forgotten pirate still out on the Grandline found the peaceful island.

The tourists words…it was a common story. What if he was the last one? It was that thought that made his heart sink, loosing the Nakama, some he hadn't seen in years. He knew it shouldn't bother him so much, even if they did die.

He saw them live good lives…saw their dreams fulfilled…they would have no regrets.

He still saw signs of them everyday…the book of Usopps stories in the bookstore window right next to Namis atlas and Robins book of history. The ships built these days had hints of Frankys design. The islands doctor had been Chopper apprentice. Brooks music would sometimes float from the taverns walls. Then the other little reminders of those later crewmembers in the museum. And Luffy…well he could be seen in the new governments flag…abstract but for those who were there when it was designed…the strawhat symbol included amongst the other symbols of freedom was obvious.

He heard the thump of the cane and click of the lighter. Ah…but he wasn't alone, he shouldn't forget that so easily. Another consequence of age perhaps.

"Oi, Looks like even now you aren't recognized." Zoro taunted in the private joke. Of course the islanders knew the man…but not like Zoro did.

The people of the island knew he was the long time (but now retired) governor of the island, and chef at the best Inn on any of the seas. A few of the older residents might be able to identify him as the founder of the island…an island that for those who knew the way held the location of All Blue at it's center the size of a huge lake...but all the Blues poured into its center by way of cliffsway rivers and massive waterfalls, nevertheless.

And the only one who knew that the islands founder, chef, and ex-governor was in fact Blackleg Sanji, former chef to the pirate king…was Zoro.

The curly brow, still evident despite the wrinkles twitched for a second before the blond man leaned on the cane in resignation.

"I'll just have to be satisfied that you at least can see the rumors of my death have been exaggerated, Marimo." Sanji called from behind his cigarette. "Poor Nami-swan doesn't even have that chance!"

"Yeah." Zoro couldn't help but smile at the idiot, still the love cook into his golden years, figures. The confidence the cook had that they were all still fine always seemed to pull him up from the sinking dark speculation. And they were wrong about the cook after all.

"I guess it can't be helped, let the cuties remember me when I was young and handsome." The cook sighed as he idly twirled the cane in his dexterous fingers, proving to the swordsman yet again it was just for appearances and then swept his golden hair aside as a gust of wind threatened to muss it.

"You still look handsome to me…" Zoro offered truthfully to his long time companion. The smile he got back was exactly the one he hoped for and grinned even wider at Sanjis response.

"Right back at you, you old fool."


	42. Chapter 42

TItle: a flowers sensitivity  
Pairing: Zoro/Sanji  
Words: 300  
Topic: Man  
rating: PG  
notes;apologies if this was OOC...I am sleepy and having time staying awake to read what I wrote.

* * *

He always hung out around girls.

He preferred to be in their presence whenever possible.

But Zoro noticed the blond was never really truly comfortable around them. He was always ready to spring to movement…to serve or to protect their feminine desires.

Zoro also noticed that one word from him and Sanji would be drawn to him immediately. In the fights that ensued the chef seemed natural and relaxed behind his anger. It was a side of him that Zoro particularly liked.

The swordsman had come to a theory as to why Sanji felt inclined for female companionship at even the cost of his pride.

"You're pretty. Like a girl." Zoro murmured to the cook one night while he was firmly wrapped in his arms against his naked chest. Sanji bristled and Zoro grinned knowing he was on the right track. "That place…Baratie you were the best looking guy there. A pretty yellow flower amongst brownish grass."

"Shut up asshole…what would you know about it!?"

The chef was struggling but Zoro held him tighter against him. He had a question he needed answered.

"I know someone like that probably only felt like a man when he was around ladies. A yellow dandelion looks more like grass when it's surrounded by roses."

Sanji had stopped struggling, contemplating instead. His manhood was being called into question despite Zoros care to keep the tone neutral.

"You studying to be a florist marimo?"

"So if you hang on Nami and Robin to feel more like a man, what do you feel when you're with me?"

Sanji sighed and leaned back into him, relaxing now that he felt he knew the situation, a sly smile on his lips.

"Like Sanji." And his hand found Zoros green hair playfully. "…with his own shitty marimo shaded meadow."


	43. Chapter 43

Title: Sinking into Fantasy  
Rating: Pg13  
Pairing: Zoro/Sanji  
Topic: Sinking  
Words: 460…again super long  
Notes: putting it in the timeline here so Zoro wanting to get some animal that Sanji couldn't manage would have some ulterior motive in Little Garden.

* * *

He had thought that Sanji would ask for his help. The Elephant Tuna was huge and would probably take forever to clean and fillet. A job Zoros swords shouldn't be asked to do but were perfectly suited to take care of in seconds.

So when the swordsman entered the galley to tell the idiot he'd have to do something really special for him to even consider the job…the sight of the chef grounding himself in a stance Zoro didn't recognize, shirtless to the waist, while holding a katana of his own made Zoros jaw drop.

Upon further refection, it wasn't truly a katana but a fillet knife large enough to skin even the biggest sea kings. Even knowing this, watching the blond cook begin his long smooth and elegant slices with the speed and accuracy that Zoro thought was only possessed by the best swordsmen…it sent him into the strongest and most vivid fantasy of his life.

It hit him so strongly he was drowning in the sight of it, the smell, the feel of it….sinking deeper and deeper.

A different life where Sanji had been a rival from a neighboring village, the same annoying bastard but a master of his own swordstyle focusing on speed and flexibility combined with legwork the likes Zoro had never seen the equal to.

They would have met in battle a few times and never have a clear winner, swirling blades sending excitement through them both…the closer combat so thrilling as they each pulled for dominance and at the others clothing and the fights ending to quickly for either of their liking.

Then the epic moment, Zoro being declared the worlds best swordsman and Sanji appearing on that foggy hillside to be the first challenger. "Now we'll get to see who deserves the title of best swordsman." Zoro would say, pleased that it was the curly brow that was challenging him but with a sliver of disappointment that it would all be decided and over come today. Sanji would take a seductive drag of his cigarette, sword resting at ease on his sholder and say…"When it comes to pushing you to the ground idiot Marimo…it was never the title I was interested in."

Sanji wiped his blade…his fillet knife and put it away where many other oversized tools were stored. Zoro was panting…just starting to swim free of the enticing daydream.

"Problem Marimo?" Sanji intoned as he pulled his shirt back on.

Yeah he had one…but that was between himself and his own hand for now. Zoro left the galley silently vowing to always bring the largest animals for the cook to dismantle. Bigger than big…so big it would take long enough that swordsman Sanji would get to the good part next time.


	44. Chapter 44

Title: The Hands..(alt title? Sanjilocks and the three hands)  
words:233  
Pairing: Sanji/Zoro  
rating:PG13  
topic: Sinking  
notes: Slight spoilers if the names Kokoro and Cammie don't ring any bells. (If you think the numbers are off, let's assume Sanji has selective memory or the Cammie incident has yet to happen.)

* * *

The first time sinking he was saved by the largest and toughest hands he had ever seen. A shitty old geezer that shared his dream.

The second time, as he cares to recall, he was pulled to the surface by sweet and delicate hands. A beautiful mermaid. All he wanted since he was a child with the feminine allure and love rooted in his deepest fantasy.

And now he is sinking again.

He had won the shitty battle…that his body wouldn't move afterward he hadn't wanted to admit, but he had no problem cursing the damn weak peons that used that to their advantage and kicked him into the ocean.

It was just plan rude. If one defeats your boss right in front of your eyes, you should at least show him enough respect to run and hide like the shitty cowards you are.

It's too bad. He had so many things he still wanted to do.

Sorry guys, I'll trust you to take things from here.

Sanji certainly hadn't expected another hand to reach out and claim him. Masculine and strong but strangely gentle and welcoming. The swordsmans hands were perfectly nestled in the best of both worlds. Weird thought.

So the third time…it was Zoro. Not someone sharing his dream or found in his childhood fantasy. Just the strong idiot of a man by his side.

Sounded just right to him.


	45. Chapter 45

Title:Sunset  
Topic:Sinking  
Pairing:Zoro/Sanji  
rating:G  
Words:152

* * *

Sunset, huh?

He never did understand why that time of day was considered romantic.

It was a pain in the ass time when the sun you took for granted, enjoyed, and counted on suddenly decided to abandon you in a lush display of vivid color and fanfare before sinking further into the sky beyond your sight.

Not very romantic at all.

Sanji was smiling as Nami gave him her hand.

Sunsets were kind of sad and lonely when you thought about it.

The captain was asking if anyone had any objections to this union. Zoro had no objections...stopping the idiot from getting the happiness he always wanted was not in his nature to do.

Sunsets are not very romantic.

Sanji was practically glowing right now in happiness. To be in that glows shadow was kind of uncomfortable despite its beauty.

Sunsets are not romantic…but for this wedding, Zoro finds them truly appropriate.


	46. Explosive aftermath

_**He explodes! It's cannon!**_  
Title: Explosive aftermath  
pairing: sanji/Zoro  
words: 177  
Topic: Exploding  
rating: R  
Notes: Hey TrillerBark reference!If spoiler stay away. If you don't care or don't get, watch the omake link. Oh and sorry for weird grammer, I am sleepy!

* * *

Damn.

He had seen the cook fired up before. Had seen him explosively angry too. But apparently all that was NOTHING compared to this. This was simply insane.

Zoro grinned despite himself.

Once the inevitable fight was over and Sanji won... he would probably still have a little of that fire simmering in him below the surface. Just the right amount to make a good brawl with the swordsman and even better sex with the cooks pliable body beneath him.

But then Usopp just had to go and open his big mouth, throwing enough fuel on the fire to make the ero-cook explode.

FUCKING EXPLODE.

He would not be able to kick the invisible bastards ass hard enough to expel all this energy and it's not like Nami was going to suddenly fuck him in thanks.

It was going to be Zoro paying for this later, damn it! Without the cook being properly satisfied before hand it meant that calling Sanji a pain in the ass certainly was going to be more accurate then he'd like tomorrow.


	47. Think and therefore you are

Title: Think and therefore you are  
pairing: San/Zo, Luff/Uso  
Words:328  
rating:R (kinda)  
Comments: It is REALLY easy to fall from grace, but it is kinda worth it. Sorry for OOC Sanji and Zoro...being a demon has made Sanji more of a whore and Zoro a bigger exhibitionist. Another badly written thing, just cause the concept amused me.

* * *

"Eh...Zoro? You're a demon!?" Usopp paused still shocked. He and Luffy had white wings and angelic status so he had just assumed it was like that for everyone, but Zoro looked flushed and a little uncomfortable talking about it. Still he hadn't seen the swordsman in a while and it was too late now. "Why? Didn't you atone for all the fighting and bloodshed?"

"Yeah." Zoros black wings seemed to sway a moment, as he tried to put his thoughts into words. He sharply took in a breath and held it before relaxing into an answer.

"I wasn't a demon when I got here." He explained albeit somewhat distracted.

"Huh? But then how?" Usopp wondered aloud. Wait did he just see Zoros' shirt move by it's self?

Sanjis hand snuck up Zoros chest as he suddenly materialized behind Zoro. Usopp noticed horns poking through the blond hair. Him too? Wait a minute...had he been here the entire time invisible? Usopp couldn't help but blush. Had Sanji been molesting Zoro right here in front of him this entire time?!

"It was all his fault."

"Are you saying I am somehow caused you to have impure thoughts?" Sanji asked indignantly while his right hand entered the front of Zoros pants.

"Uh hummmm." The answer came out more as a moan.

Usopp turned deep red. These two had never been so bold as to do anything like this in front of him. Usually he'd have to pretend to go to bed early and sneak a peak in the dark when the two were fooling around.

Usopp snapped out of a particularly juicy memory to find Luffys' hand on his shoulder and the two demons gone elsewhere.

"Hey."

Usopp gaped to find Luffys white wings were now black and he too had horns.

"Not you too!"

Luffy patted him on the back with a big smile.

"You saw them too, huh? It's okay at least we're in good company!"

That's when Usopp noticed the pile of white feathers at his own feet. Impure thoughts indeed.

"Damn."


	48. Certain Influences

_**Maybe it's better that Sanji not listen to his "concious"**_  
Title: Certain influences  
Words:389  
pairing: Sanji -- Luffy, Zoro, Usopp  
ratiing: g

* * *

The dish was one of his finest. That was in fact the problem, it had been meant to be a test since it was such a small portion. Now there was only one plate of perfection. Should he eat it himself? No one would know...but then again that would mean no one would bear witness of the greatness of the dish. He was the cook, that came with a certain level of pride..

"Give it to me!" Luffys voice came out of nowhere.

"EH?" He looked toward the door but stopped short on his shoulder where a smaller version of the captain sat grinning.

"I like your food the most Sanji, right? AND I am your captain! AND you love my goofy smile after I compliment you on the food! You think its cute!"

"What?! Uh.." He frowned deeply in protest and hoped that made the tinge of rose on his cheeks look like rightful indignation. "You've gotta be kidding me!"

"That's right..." A small Zoro agreed on the cooks other shoulder. "He wouldn't even taste it..just shove it in. Me though...you know I actually taste the food. And think of how much fun you could have when you give it to me. You could insult me, we could tussle...lots of personal contact. I know that that's what you're after, that friction when our bodies meet. Then you could place the dish by my feet and comment how I need to build my strength up if I'm going to stand a chance against you. I'll get pissed but your food will smell so good- I can't resist.

A bead of sweat started to form on the cooks brow, as he pictured the many scenarios.

"Oi, Zoro- aren't you supposed to convince him to eat it himself?" Luffy piped up.

"That was actually your role, idiot! When you started ad-libbing I figured I might as well put my bid in on the food too."

"Oh- well you can't have it! I claimed him first!"

"So? He gets hot under the collar over me!"

"That's just because he's angry!"

"Sure, that's what it is."

"He's mine!"

"Mine!"

"Mine!"

"Mine!"

Usopp looked up in surprise as the plate was placed before him on the workbench. Sanji put his finger to his lips.

" It's for not showing up and causing me to have a headache and a bloody nose earlier...let's leave it at that."


	49. Takes 1 & 2

_**whoa...word count explosion...**_  
Title: Takes 1 & 2  
Pairing: Zoro/Sanji, Sanji/Don.f.  
words: 1,o71 or something...OMG...  
rating: NC17 ish  
topic: Journal

Pg. 1

Robin wants a crew history and asked everyone to keep a log what happens. Nami said something about a penalty fee for those who don't so here we are.

Today in port, I took a nap against a tree.

I woke up when a guy in a stupid looking feather coat walked by with an obnoxious laugh and a dangerous sort of aura. He had three girls with him that looked wide eyed and a little panicked, despite being draped across the man lovingly. I was considering getting up and interfering but I knew a much more suited idiot for the task.

Sure enough the cook appeared around the corner chasing after the group, obviously to straighten out whatever problem the feathery man had caused to those women or maybe wanting to know where the man shopped. God knows they both seemed to be idiots for fashion and women.

Seriously though, Sanji can take care of it…so I closed my eyes. A few minutes later I hear running and look up to see the three girls fearfully running in the other direction. Looks like the idiot succeeded in pretty good time.

An hour later and I heard that tell tale shuffle walk back towards me. I crack an eye and see that his looks remarkably clean. His pants are covered in dust and grit but there is no blood or evidence really of a fight. The feather guy must have been weak and the cook had let out some aggression on him to take so long. Whatever. I wouldn't care…but apparently the fight left the blond feeling frisky.

He straddled my legs and sat on my lap in one smooth motion…his hands were reaching into my pants before I could even ask what the fuck he was doing. Not that I would have have stopped him.

This kind of thing never happens. When we get down to business, the damn chef has a conniption before hand and needs to make sure no one could possibly see, hear, or discover us. Damn frustrating candy ass idiot…

Anyway, since he is so cautious normally this is…exciting. We are right off the main road and people are walking by but he only licks his lips and aggressively pulls me out of my pants.

I start returning the groping and he gasps as I grab him a little roughly….as his mouth closes I hear a whisper of breath.

"Wake up asshole, this isn't me…a little help…"

But then his mouth was all over my neck and his hand was stroking me in a technique he had never used before and it was hard to remember what I might have heard. Help I remembered since it's something of a prickly word for us and I moved a hand across him. That he wasn't hard yet but was acting with a kind of lust I hadn't seen before was strange and reason enough for me to lend my help.

I took him behind the tree, so at least we wouldn't scare children who might walk by or worse have a member of the crew come up to us during the act.

He was strangely quiet, and there was none of the normal pretense, normal fight for the right to top first. In fact he was eager to have me lead. Heh..it was pretty good…fucking great actually.

About halfway through…when we were close, his attitude changed and he was suddenly angry for no apparent reason and clawed at my back and pulled at my hair and basically saying what an idiot I was. Nothing lasts forever I guess. Bastard. Even cursing my name as he came. Heh…I don't really mind that though…just a revisiting of classic asshole cook. It's because he is so fucking annoying that getting that reaction feels so good though.

Turns out the cook was being controlled by some devil fruit user…or at least that's what he says to me afterward. He could just be fucking embarrassed he couldn't control himself…he is the ero cook after all. Don't know, Don't care…well maybe a little. I want the cook to come to me because he wants to…and no other reason.

Still, if we do see that guy in the feathery jacket again I'm torn between thanking him and killing him, I mean yeah he made the cook give me the best and dirtiest sex of my life but there is also the fact the chef hadn't come back for more than an hour when the women were freed. The crap cook isn't saying anything but I get the sense the fruit user had Sanji entertain him before he sent the cook my way, probably expecting me to kill him and staying for a thrilling little show when I didn't.

Ah…I'll let the cook kill him, it's the least I can do. I'll just be there to back him up in case anything funny happens.

Speaking of funny…I bet the cook if going to hate this journal thing when he realizes I'm not going to lie about that thing between us he wants hidden so badly…his hang up not mine. I can't wait to see how his precious Nami-swan reacts to all the dirty little details of what Sanjis' real skills are and what he really likes…

Pg 1.  
Robin wants a crew history and asked everyone to keep a log what happens. Nami said something about a penalty fee for those who don't so here we are.

Today in port, I took a nap against a tree.

The cook interfered with me writing my journal entry and I had to re-write it. Too much work to rewrite what I wrote and it'd probably be destroyed too.

-  
Nami sighed and shrugged at Robin as she handed her the swordsmans nearly blank page.

"I knew we wouldn't get much from Zoro. Let alone anything interesting."

Robin started rubbing the edge of her pencil across the page, revealing the indentions of the words that had been written on the page above it.

"Sometimes you need to look between the lines for the real story navigator-san."


	50. The Consult

_**A little consult**_  
title: A little consult  
rating: pg13  
Pairing: Sanji/Zoro, slight Sanji/Luffy  
words: 850 (I need to really try and write some smaller stuff)  
Topic: journal  
notes: AU?

* * *

"Hey, thanks for coming." The hands clasped together in greeting and both doctors sunk into the comfortable leather chairs opposite the mans desk.

"No problem, It's not often you call me in for a consult, I have to say the curiosity is killing me…who is it?" He took the file offered him and grinned in amusement despite himself.

"Ahhhh…Sanji…our favorite fighting pirate chef."

"Have you read the mans journal? About his dreams and supposed adventures? The detail is incredible…It would make a great movie…if anyone could believe it."

"Yes..I've read them. He is definitely at least a level 3 delusion."

"We'll that's what I wanted your input on actually. He recognizes how crazy it sounds and the delusion seems to take place like he has a memory of this other world, other life, slam into him. When he's not in that altered state, he is fully aware he is the successful restaurateur who has made a lot of enemies on his way to the top.

He even accepts the parallels we've drawn together. When that red headed secretary of his got into some trouble he hired some help from a detective agency downtown and together they put an end to the situation. Each member of that agency makes an appearance in his delusion! The long nose tech guy…the..OH and the bounty hunter!"

The other doctor cocked his head to the side.

"You think the delusions started because of the incident with the girl?"

"Yes. Sanji admits he had been feeling bored and unsatisfied previously and to hear him talk about his little raid on the bad guys compound with his new friends…something changed. Also there is that bounty hunter sparks were flying between them to hear him talk. I think between seeing an alternative to his life and his sexuality being thrown into question sent his mind reeling to create a new world…a SAFE place to experiment."

"Sounds about right…"

"But…there was the missing strawhat captain to consider. Sanji doesn't know anyone like that. So we finally decided this "Luffy" character must be a representation of his Id…or his unrestricted inner child perhaps."

"Hmm…yes that sounds good too."

"Last week, the state sent over an advocate…the advocate got him a new doctor to sign off on him and he's to be released from the ward tomorrow."

"WHAT?! But you don't just 'get over' something like that! And not in a week! Who is the doctor?"

"Dr. Chopper…he just transferred in a few weeks ago."

"Dr. Chopper…that sounds familiar."

The other man looked at him meaningfully and tapped the folder.

"Dr. Tony Chopper was a member of the crew." He held up a hand to stop the question he knew was coming. "The journals predate him coming here. Even if he did randomly pick out that name...the advocate…" He pulled out a business card for his long time friend and college to read.

"Monkey D. Luffy…but that is impossible! He must have seen it somewhere…subconsciously."

He shook his head as he remembered that meeting. He hadn't bothered to get the advocates name from the secretary before hand.

"Sanji…your state advocate is here…"

Sanji had sighed as he looked out the window.

"Tell them I'm fine. I'm used to it here…I promised I'd go through the treatment. I don't need any charity or short cuts."

"Too bad! I decided when I came that I wouldn't leave till you promised to cook for me!"

Sanji's head had whipped around.

"Luffy!!?" But then as the doctor came forward ready to hold him down…ready to talk him out of the delusion he had slipped back into the advocate had clapped his hands excitedly.

"WOW! Sanji you remember me? No one else has…I've had to win everyone over all over again!"

The doctor turned to the advocate.

"No you don't understand he's in a delusion…don't encourage him."

"Huh? No he's not! I'm Monkey D. Luffy! He's right!" His card was taken out and presented to the doctor. "I'm here to make sure he sees the path to his freedom."

The doctor frowned in shock.

"But he thinks you're going to be a pirate king."

Luffy frowned and turned to Sanji.

"That's quite a dream…I'd need a strong crew to do that. Certainly a chef."

The doctor was stunned again…no way had this advocate read the blonds file. The journal of the fictional adventure.

"Do you really not want to leave here Sanji? Isn't there a new dream you could be following?"

Sanji had nodded…and shook his head in some kind of relief. Like he hadn't been going crazy after all.

"You've taken your sweet time shitty captain." He smirked as Luffy's face lit up in a huge grin.

The doctor ran off then to check the advocate's credentials…to make sure. The two men had been left talking by the window. Things had started moving so quickly after that. He turned seriously back to his colleague gaping at the business card like the name would somehow change.

"I needed your professional opinion…do you think this story in the journal is somehow true? Or am I just going crazy?"


	51. After Another Close Call

Title: After another close call  
words: 775 (too many_)  
Pairing: San/Zo  
rating: Pg13 (language)  
topic: Kindness  
notes: This may count as a death fic, but I don't think so.

* * *

Zoro could have sworn he should be feeling a lot more pain. That woman was the most challenging swordsman (excluding Mihawk) to date and that last slice had cut him clean and deep across the side as he had twisted to push Usopp out of the way and into the cook's arms.

He had just turned to face her again, pissed that she would interrupt their fight by going after his nakama and felt a painful stab into his chest.

He should feel pain. And for that matter why was everything white?

When a black door appeared and Sanji walked from it, considering a clipboard in his hands, gnawing on a cigarette and in that black suit he hadn't worn for a while, Zoro was really confused.

"What the fuck are you doing here?" Zoro asked, not sure why he had chosen that question and not 'where am I?' but it didn't matter.

Sanji looked up, noticing now that for the first time the room he entered hadn't been empty. He looked shocked seeing the swordsman there before him.

"What the fuck are YOU doing here?!" He shouted back before a thought occurred to him and he checked his outfit. "You mean even back then?" His expression changed to a pissed off one. "ZORO!!!"

Before the green haired swordsman had a chance to respond an older green haired man walked through the door with a yawn. He was himself for sure- but older, tougher, and in an outfit he had never seen before.

"Morning already?"

Sanji landed a kick atop the man's head and he grunted as he opened his eyes.

"Oi Sanji, what's this, Baratie version? Nice! Feeling nostalgic? It isn't even my birthday."

The cook inclined his head to the bloody younger version of himself. Upon laying eyes on himself, his appearance changed to match the younger bloodier Zoro.

"Care to explain asshole?"

"Nothing to tell…you remember this right? That woman swordsman who went after Usopp in the middle of the fight?"

"You got right back up after that…why didn't you tell us you nearly died?!! AND!" Sanji leaned in close with a snarl. "All the way back THEN you wanted me to be your person?! Why didn't you say anything? We could have gotten together way sooner!"

Zoro looked back and forth between the argument between this other self and the cook.

"Am I dead?"

"When you die before it is finalized you are greeted by a person you'd most like to see…and they either send you back or help you cross over." Sanji explained with a glare to the other man to his left.

"But you're still alive...aren't you?"

"_Your_ Sanji is still alive…" His other self intoned with meaning. "But when everyone dies…occasionally they are called upon to go to the past or future and greet those who wish to see them. Time has no meaning in the face of death. It is the last and greatest kindness of life."

"That means…"

"It's not our time yet…get the hell back down there and beat her. I did it once already and you still need to become the greatest." His older yet identical self smirked.

"Yeah…and since I know you won't remember this more then a vague feeling and instinctual hunch when you get back…." Sanji walked forward and planted a deep tender kiss against his mouth. "Don't keep me waiting so long like this idiot did…"

There was a spinning a kick against his chest and as he hurled backwards in the darkness he felt the stabbing pain there grow.

He landed with a thump on ground and felt the area where the kick…no it had been a sword wound…why had he suddenly thought it was a kick? As he stood up and faced down the woman he felt more than just anger. He felt confident.

"Oi! What are you waiting for idiot!? We need to get back to the ship! Hurry up and win!" Sanji shouted from somewhere behind him, the traces of concern and relief suddenly all too evident to Zoro.

He felt a lot more confident in certain other matters too…he realized with a grin.

* * *

**Omake continuation:**

"What the hell was that?!"

"A kiss idiot…I thought that would be obvious even to you."

"But…."

"Heh...you aren't feeling jealous of yourself are you?"

They both froze for a moment as a new memory flitted through them. Zoro grinned smugly as he watched Sanji's face turn a bright shade of red.

"What the hell!? Marimo! I only encouraged you to act sooner…Not do THAT…or god…ANY of those things…"

"You brought it upon yourself…a kiss from you isn't encouragement, it tastes like victory."


	52. Positioning

Title: Positioning  
words:270  
pairing: San/Zo  
topic: kindness  
rating: nc-17

* * *

Zoro thrust again with the quick rhythm he had somehow worked into a sweaty fever pitch. He felt Sanji lean back and tense beneath him, crying out as orgasm ripped through him. The swordsman followed the cooks example a few moments later, with a groan and panting gasp.

They laid in silence afterward as Sanji took out a cigarette and pulled his lighter from the nightstand. Zoro knew the silence wouldn't last for long and a few puffs later wasn't disappointed.

"So?" The cook began.

"It's alright."

The hand paused from bringing the cigarette back to the blonds mouth.

"Just alright? Fuck…" Sanji frowned as he rolled that over.

"Che, any complaints?" Zoro returned, already knowing full well there wouldn't be any.

"Fuck no! I guess it doesn't matter…I like it either way."

"I thought so, pervert." Zoro chuckled.

"Idiot marimo, it's only natural to wonder why, especially when it's something you seem to have some amount of skill in."

"I like the control…It's more satisfying to try and adapt to what your doing and try to make it even better by controlling my stroking and movement."

"Heh, can't think clearly when the baby Marimo isn't flapping in the wind?"

"Shut the hell up! You know you prefer topping anyway."

Sanji took a sweet, savoring drag on his cigarette as he considered if he was up for showing the idiot just how much that was true so soon after finishing their little workout.

"And to think all this time I thought you were just letting me do what I want out of kindness…" the cook murmured, voice smug.

"Like hell!"


	53. The Proof is in the lie

Title: The proof is in the lie  
pairing: San/Zo  
rating: G  
words: 336  
topic: Kindness (sorta...belated)  
notes: Hmm...if I did my job here you might feel a little sad afterward.

* * *

Years ago Zoro had walked into the kitchen to find the blond cook crying, jars and spices laid out around the counter and Sanji looking broken in despair.

They had been getting steadily older through the years so it was bound to happen eventually, but as even Zoro felt his senses dull with age he never considered how the dulling of taste might affect his long time companion cook.

That day had arguably been one of the worst ones in his life. Holding those wrinkled hands he had grown to love and begging Sanji to see his worth beyond that of a chef, if even for a moment. Even if he had lost his hands in battle he probably could have just cooked with his feet, the blond was muttering, but his tongue…a cook without taste was less than worthless.

Zoro had told Sanji he would be his tongue for as long as he could taste and that the idiot was so good in the kitchen that a little faith that lettuce had remained tasting like lettuce from the chopping board to the plate was going to hurt very little in the grand scheme of things. He had held his thin lover and petted him with his own warm and worn hand, trying to comfort, trying to show he was still loved, still had value.

Somehow, Zoro still wasn't sure how…he had brought the man back from that dark place. Looking back on it he was surprised he could be so tender.

What really made him realize he had gone soft and his begrudging love for this man had trumped everything was during breakfast this morning, when Zoro realized his food that Sanji had made him with love tasted little more than a dull paste. That age had finally robbed him too of tasting the passion and skill of his lover.

"Oi, geezer marimo…" Sanji's came closer to repeat himself when he saw it. "Zoro…are you crying?"

"What can I do? It just tastes so good…"


	54. Sins of the Flesh

Title: The sin of the flesh  
rating: Pg13(one bad word)  
words:420  
pairing: Zo/San with maybe a little San/Luff in the background  
topic:sin  
notes: Vampire Sanji!

* * *

When he entered the galley Zoro spotted Luffy unattended by the fridge and knew something was wrong.

"Oi, the cook know you're in here?"

"Mryeah…he said to get a steak and I could help him end it."

Zoro took three seconds to put that statement in context and spun on his heals, finding the cook standing on the ships railing in the moonlight, smirking, and smoking a cigarette.

"I was expecting Luffy, Marimo…go away."

"He's looking in the fridge for your stake so I don't think seeing him will do you any good."

"Shit."

"It's gotten that bad? The hunger?" He was angry but it was concern that toned his voice.

"It's not the resisting…I know what it's like to be hungry. It's the sin."

"The sin?"

"Yeah aho…the sin. As a chef it's my purpose to give my nakama the sustenance of life. As a chef it is an ultimate sin to not feed the hungry." He had a sad smile as he threw his arms in the air, leaping down from the railing. His fangs caught the moonlight for a moment and Zoro pretended like hell they didn't.

"Imagine the sin then of a chef feeding off his nakama. Stealing their life sustenance."

It had been more than a week and all of the crew was dealing with the cooks new condition fairly well…mostly by entirely by pretending nothing was wrong. The chef was almost exactly the same after all, maybe a little quieter, but this was the first sign of any suffering. The crew had no real way to help Sanji except kill the woman who had done this to him…something the chef would probably try to stop them from doing once he was close enough to be pulled into her thrall.

There was something Zoro could do. He pulled Wadu and for a minute Sanji's eyes gleamed that Zoro was going to be the one to end it, but the blade found Zoro's shoulder and started a trickle of fresh blood there instead.

"Drink idiot…later you can atone with me and if I'm not satisfied, then I'll kill you."

The cooks eyes had gone dark as his controlled hungry started to win the battle.

"Fucking jackass, what are you doing?" His feet seemed to move him on their own easing him next to the swordsman.

"Take me shit-cook and gentle or not, I'll forgive you at least."

The fangs brushed against his neck and he nearly chuckled at the polite whisper next.

"Thank you…for the food."


	55. Pride

title: Pride and it's pitfalls  
words:300  
pairing: ZoSan  
topic: Sin (Pride/the 7 deadly)  
rating: male nakedness at one point.(R?Nc-17?)

* * *

Zoro thought that if anything could be considered a weakness it would be his pride. He never considered it one…a man should have pride. Pride as a man. Pride as a swordsman. Pride in doing things full tilt and nothing half-assed.

You have to have a good sense of direction with that much pride or you find yourself slipping into the other sins with ease.

The ero-cook for example. Zoro has strong emotions where he is concerned, hate, annoyance, respect, and some other things that real men don't discuss but would show behind locked doors and caring touches. Zoro's strong pride makes sure he takes the blond seriously and fully, constantly being aware of his presence and what he is doing.

The swordsman knows pride…and his sense of direction is flawed. So he falls head deep into knowing other sins full on.

He knows…

Sloth as he decides that watching the cook fillet the large tuna is worth skipping his push ups today.

Greed when Nami offers him money to do favors for the cook.

Wraith when the cook allows himself to be injured so easily.

Envy when the chef takes Nami's hand in his and offers her his heart and a cool glass of some exotic drink he made just for her.

Gluttony as he asks for seconds, thirds, and fourths of the chefs cooking…knowing he will have to train more to make up for it but can't stop devouring the flavors Sanji took the day nursing to life. Rescuing it from those who might stuff it down without the knowledge of just how much effort when into each element.

Lust when Zoro finds himself having to hide an erection when Sanji begins to carefully drag the soap up his legs to his groin as they share the shower…again.


	56. And they called him mad!

Title: And they had called him mad!  
words:400  
pairing: San/zo  
rating:R(language)  
topic: sin  
notes:THis one came out sounding a little weird.

* * *

"He's dead." Chopper started to step away from Zoro's body but he found Sanji blocking him. It was raining badly but the doctor was pretty sure Sanji was crying.

"Hell no! He's not fucking dead!"

"He's dead…Sanji." Chopper sobbed harder.

"Then bring him back to life!!!" He knew he was being unreasonable but fuck, the shitty marimo dying like THIS? Not even a fight? He refused to let it happen.

"Sanji…" and Choppers whine said so much recalling the limits of medicine and nonhuman zombies of Hogback..

"There has got to be a way …"

An old woman in the back of the crowds voice cut through the shush of rain.

"Even if there were young man, you would be committing the ultimate sin and defying gods will. Let him die."

The woman's friends quickly tried to silence her but the cooks thoughts of breaking his vow and kicking a woman (in this case repeatedly) had already passed when his anger at the statement gave him a thought.

Yes it would be a going against gods will…god was refusing Zoro a second chance at life. But the devil wouldn't refuse him. The devil gave second chances.

The cooks eyes flashed to Brook and there was a flash of lightning and rumble of ominous thunder.

"Brook, give me a bone you don't need. Please."

The skeleton pulled a small bone from his right foot and handed it over without question. By the cooks tone he knew what Sanji was thinking.

Sanji held out the bone to Chopper carefully.

"Put it in him."

"Why?"

It would take him too long to explain and if he waited any longer it probably wouldn't work, slim chance as it was. He pushed the reindeer out of the way, ripped off the bandage Chopper had just applied to Zoro's chest and forced Brooks bone deep beyond the wounds stitching.

It was better this way. If he was defying god…the sin should be on the cook and not the innocent doctor taking the request.

Lightning flashed as Zoro's eyes began to open and he let out a guttural groan that echoed along side the thunder that followed it.

"He's ALIVE! ALIVE!!" The cook couldn't help but raise his arms and laugh manically in victory.

Many villagers scattered to get their pitchforks…only to find the pirates were back on their ship, sailing once again, when they had returned.


	57. It was my test

Title: It was MY test  
pairing: Sanji-Zoro&Luffy  
words:300  
topic: Sin (envy)  
rating:Pg13

* * *

I've never been jealous of the shitty marimo. Seriously, it is one thing to be the best…like greatest chef in the (hopefully) five Blues…but to run around trying to prove it? Why bother? I have my own dream so I've never been jealous of the idiot for his.

Sure he's strong, skilled, and good looking, but I'm all those things too.

Integrity? Confidence?

Check and shitty check.

So to be truly envious of Zoro, to know and feel envy strong enough to recognize it as a deadly sin…it's new.

I was ready to give my life…for the crew in general but for those two idiots in specific. I couldn't really say which one was more important. They both are tied to my heart now. I try to show it in my cooking, I don't expect them to notice it and they don't.

So to unequivocally show them how indispensable they have somehow become…it's a chance I've really wanted for sometime.

And even though I am willing.

Even though I say "Let the flower of death bloom in me."

It is him. That damn swordsman that forces me aside and takes my chance without caring he just fucking jammed the hilt of that shitty sword into a particularly painful spot between two broken ribs.

He even survives. Zoro was tested and he passed.

It is not the same to have been there ready to take it and being denied. Nothing proven. Now that it's in the past doubt has even started creeping in…like maybe I knew somewhere in my subconscious that Zoro wouldn't let me die.

To have someone who hates to rely on others have to consider that as an option…that he has the power to make me feel this way, it makes me envy the bastard all the more.


	58. Sweet temptation

Title:Sweet temptation  
pairing: Sanji/zoro  
words:129  
topic:Sin  
rating:r-ish?

* * *

It's sinful.

Zoro can tell with the casual glance that the dessert in front of him is too rich, too decadent, too sweet…

That he would probably moan as he ate it.

He'd love every bite.

The cook is teasing him, knowing he'll be forced to refuse.

Knowing his lie about not liking sweets.

His only lie.

Zoros mouth is watering for it.

Sanjis smirking and is suggestively pulling his tie open…damn bastard…he KNOWS everyone else is too busy stuffing their faces to notice.

Now he is hungry and locked into some kind of heavy look with the chef.

And fuck he hates the ero-cook.

Two lies.

And the shit cook knows them both.

Is the Cause.

Is the sin.

Zoro's called a demon.

But Sanji is the devil.


	59. Carry on

title: Carry on  
words: 144 (a gross!)  
pairing: San/ZO + nakamaship  
rating: G  
topic: Sin  


* * *

It was a sin for Zoro to be drinking his favorite wine.

To be holding his Nami-swan like that so tenderly.

To be tasting his favorite recipe that Usopp helped him make.

Shitty Marimo wouldn't appreciate any one of those things like he could.

But it would be a bigger sin to let those things be wasted.

"Oi, cook. Make them sorry they let you in…" Zoro called out in tribute.

Oh I am…but once you're here we'll really give 'em hell. No rush…I'll keep my eye on you in the mean time.

Sanji watched as Nami wiped her tears and proposed a toast in his name between, all the Nakama agreed and held their glasses high.

He had hoped these anniversaries would come easier with time, but was glad to be remembered….apparently forgetting and moving on without a Nakama was a sin too.


	60. Devils and Demons

Title:devils and demons  
words:300  
paring:San/zo  
notes: AU  
rating:pg13  
topic: sin

* * *

A demon shouldn't be found sleeping so often…it was a demons job to bring violence and destruction. To reign down chaos and bring the sin of wraith to the shitty mortals.  
So there was no excuse for the shitty demon to keep hanging around the bridge linking the plane of demons to that of devils.

Sanji took a drag on his cigarette and supposed a handsome devil such as himself really had better things to do then worry about some shitty demon that always seemed to be by his preferred place to take a smoke and think.

He had his own purpose…devils were more versatile than their demon counterparts. More cunning too typically, making deals and cooking up sweet temptations the mortals will beg them for, and Sanji was one of the best. It took more time and planning to lead a worthwhile lamb astray and prepare it for succulent devouring but so very worth it.

He should be scheming now instead of alternating between glaring at the wayward green-haired demon and peering off the bridge down to one of the mortals blue seas.

When he glared at the demon again the bastard was glaring back.

"Oi devil…got a problem?"

"Oh, you're alive? I thought the brimstone was growing mold."

"Che! And I thought devils weren't supposed to be idiots."

There was a pleasant antagonistic silence as they sized each other up.

"What brings a demon to the bridge without official business?"

"Just here for the view…and relax."

"Like hell, I've never seen you look out from the bridge…"

"Never said that I did."

Seems he hadn't been hunting but caught a tiger…pity. Devils and demons doing anything other than fighting was strictly taboo.

The look the demon was giving him was smoldering though.

He was the one who was caught.


	61. Getting Luck for Change

title: Getting Lucky for Change  
rating;pg13  
words: 300  
pairing:San/Zo  
Topic: Change  
note: Beware my cheesy turn of phrase. Also I have got another idea sorta like this one at the same time and thought I'd warn you. Also...AU modern day.

* * *

He wasn't _lost_, he just decided that calling Johnny for a ride might be quicker if he wanted to get some sleep that night. Payphones were a dying breed but as he spotted one and began to hustle across the deserted streets and crosswalks toward it he cursed in realization.

He didn't have any change.

His eyes scanned the sidewalk as he continued toward the phone, thinking maybe he could luck out and find a few coins by the time he reached his destination.

He slowed his walk down just as a nice car pulled up beside him and the window rolled down with a mechanical whirl. A waft of smoke escaped the opening and in the half light/shadow from the streetlights Zoro made out a man about his age, not bad looking at all, blond and smoking.

"Looking for money?" The stranger asked in a smirk.

"Yeah. Is it that obvious?" Zoro chuckled back, just knowing his buzz from the bar was responsible for impulsive flirtation. Hell he had gone to the bar to get drunk and laid…and left only drunk.

"How much?"

He had no idea what the phone charged, some were flat rate these days and others depended on distance.

"Depends on the service. I can't imagine it'd be more than seventy-five though."

The door swung open.

"Get in."

He could kick this guys ass if he needed too…and was already thinking of better things to do to it instead. He got in.

"Where did you want to go?"

Zoro told him the address and was pleased the blond followed him up to his apartment on his own accord.

The sex was fantastic. The bastard had been good but demanding.

A great night out...

He even found seventy-five dollars in morning!


	62. Tender Baby

title: tender baby  
words:300  
pairing: San/Zo  
rating: pg13  
topic: Change

* * *

The cry was piercing enough to wake both men at once.

Sanji eased himself back into the bed.

"You."

Dammit. The kid wasn't even theirs, a fact that Zoro remembered with less frequency these days.

He pushed the warm blankets off him with a groan. The blond pulled the cast off tighter around himself and mumbled something that had probably meant to be 'thanks' and 'bottle in the fridge' but already slipped back into dreamland before the words gained coherence.

The swordsman padded over the crib and scooped up the baby into his arms. The sobbing stopped almost immediately and Zoro sighed as he realized the problem wasn't the need for the bottle but instead a change.

He set the baby down and went to work going through the well-rehearsed steps.

He had worried when the baby had fallen into their hands. He and th ero-cook…their relationship had just reached a really good place. Now a kid had to change it before he and Sanji could really appreciate what they had.

But the change hadn't been bad. First and foremost, it gave him and the cook focus on something other than the kids parents. The mother killed and one of their nakama taking a temporary leave to make sure people paid for it. The help offered was rejected. The fight beyond personal. But the kid was left in their care.

That had been a while ago, didn't seem it.

Playing mommy and daddy- it made that brief blissful time he and the cook could sneak away for a quick fuck ring so hollow now next to the support in their teamwork and tenderness in those rare kisses.

Baby back to bed, he wrestled his way back under the covers and grinned as he got one of those kisses as a reward.


	63. Cake Vs Pie

Title: Cake Vs Pie  
pairing: Sanji/Zoro  
words:188  
rating:pg  
topic:change

* * *

Sanji observed things differently since he was a chef.

Things like how Zoro preferred cake over pie, considering it less sweet and complaining about the fluffy, overly sweet, "fake" frosting he's sure is just for show. He would scrape it off or dig down to the moist layers underneath, not understanding the inner workings of something that was a mysterious liquid a hour ago but appreciating it's complexity and neat appearance anyway. He savored the spice based cakes and couldn't stop himself from coming back for more.

Things like how the cook himself preferred pie. Simple to understand, almost plucked from raw honest nature…it's sweet steamy, piping hot, gooey goodness hidden beneath a flaky and dense tender crust.

Of course he understands that food preferences have far reaching implications.

It would change things if he shares this knowledge. It would put pressure for them to change their relationship beyond nakama. He isn't ready for that so he doesn't hesitate to heavily frost Zoros birthday cake and coo to the ladies if they want the first slice.

He and the marimo aren't ready for change. At least not yet.


	64. The Problem with Wishes

title: The problem with wishes  
pairing: Sanji/Zoro  
words: 845  
rating: Nc17ish  
topic: change  
notes: OK. A hint of crack. A hint of magic. A hint of a morality tale. A helpping of guilt/angst/mindcontrol sex. This is what you get.

He woke up with Sanji sucking him off. It was one HELL of a way to wake up.

But it was wrong. He and Sanji had only tentatively broached the subject of trying a relationship yesterday…and to wake up to this, well it was fucking great but maybe too fast to be a healthy start to anything serious.

When the blond began to pull down his own pants and align his ass with Zoro's cock he knew something was horribly wrong.

"OI! Cook what do you think you're doing?! Shouldn't I be a part of this?!"

"Ah…Zoro-sama I…sorry…I can't help it! I woke up this morning knowing I wouldn't be able to think straight or about anything else until you fucked me…"

Yes. This was very fucking wrong. On so many levels. Not only had his Sanji changed into this docile submissive whore of a shadow…but the potential reason for it wiggled in the back of his mind.

Last night. Birthday candles. Pressure to make a fucking wish by the ero-cook. He didn't believe in silly things like wishes…he believed in dreams and the hard work. Thus it had been an impulsive joke right back at the cook.

_I wish Sanji would be nothing but my personal insatiable slut of sex toy each morning before breakfast and each night before bed._

The wish hadn't been out loud and he certainly hadn't meant it seriously…but here it was.

After being thoroughly used, a clear headed and embarrassed Sanji would climb from his bed without looking at him. The 'sama' was dropped and the bastard was pretty much back to normal until after dinner when the change would happen again, sending a blond to him begging for sex.

The crew knew something was going on. On more than one adventure they would be camping or fighting some pirate and the change would happen…making the blond all but a useless distracted and horny decoration. It brought humiliation to Sanji later when he'd hear of his behavior, see the scars he had received and had needed saving from being fatal. It brought shame to Zoro who knew it wasn't the cooks fault.

The cook didn't know what came over him but sure as hell hated it.

Zoro wasn't keen on it either. This wasn't his Sanji.

Sex became something fast and unpleasant task for Zoro. A cure and reminder of what he done to his would be lover. Yeah would be lover because Sanji was still nakama but didn't trust him as much anymore, rightfully thinking his weird new personality quirks were somehow the swordsman's fault. No relationship even given a chance.

The year passed quickly and rather uneventfully besides the weird Sanji mornings and nights and the problems they caused. Sometimes he'd inadvertently take out his frustration and guilt on the slutty Sanji that crawled into bed…but when that Sanji moaned in pleasure and begged for more it just made him feel worse. Later in those days when he's see the normal chef wince in pain he wanted to slice his own dick off…but then what? Wouldn't that just banish the normal Sanji from the world when the next change occurred?

He was ready at his birthday this year. Cake. Candles. Make a wish.

He woke up in his bed with a start. He heard rustling of the chef padding closer. SHIT.

"Oi, Marimo? You awake? What kind of cake do you want for your birthday tonight?"

Zoro sighed a deep relief at the suddenly foreign name…Marimo. It felt like he hadn't heard that in a year. It had been Zoro-sama or Asshole bastard only. A stripe of light fell across the cooks face as he came closer and he knew his wish had been fulfilled. The cook wasn't looking at him accusingly nor with uncontrolled lust. Just slight annoyance at not being answered. He also didn't have that one particularly nasty scar that split through his upper lip and ran past his right eye he had gotten when he had been captured during one really badly timed change.

He was so happy to not see that scar he was caught off guard when Sanji's lips suddenly caught his in a hesitant kiss.

"Happy birthday. NOW will you do the shitty honor of answering my question?"

Zoro put a finger to his lips. Funny…a year of sex and not once had it felt as intimate as that kiss did.

"Was it…too soon?"

"Nah, ero-cook. Skip the cake. A few more of those would be fine."

"Everyone was looking forward to cake. Pervert." He added pointedly behind a smirk.

"Cake is fine if you promise no candles."

"Heh, getting sensitive to getting older already?"

"Feels like I already got my birthday wish…don't want to be greedy."

Another kiss and Sanji was headed out to start breakfast.  
"Don't get a swelled head- I'm not going to fall for your smooth talk so easily." He called over his shoulder.

Zoro smirked and pulled the covers over his head.

He certainly hoped not…this time he planned to enjoy being twenty.


	65. Holding

Title: Holding  
words: 177  
pairing: Zo/San/ and light Luff  
rating:pg  
topic: restrained Sanji

* * *

The cook grunted as Zoros gripped his belt, lifting his waist up off the ground and slowly pulling the expensive strap of leather free.

Sanji hissed and bit his lip.

"Luffy, I want you on top of him…here." Zoro pushed the blonds shirt open and placed his hand on the mans bare chest. "Hold him down."

"Oi, Marimo! I can take it. Luffy doesn't have to…"

Luffy's hands were on his chest then. Cold and firm. His eyes told the cook he wasn't going anywhere. The swordsman grinned that the captain could silence the idiot at least, the blue eye caught his and they shared a look.

"Just do it Marimo."

"Heh! Chew on this. Try not to pass out."

The belt was folded and shoved between the cooks teeth.

"Asshole." Came a garbled response.

Another look. Then a muscular leg was shoved quickly back into it's socket.

A captain restrained his cook.

Zoro pretended not to hear the muffled scream or see the tear escaping the corner of the cook's eye.

Sanji pretended the hand squeezing his wasn't shaking.


	66. Something Brewing

Title:Something brewing  
Words:299  
pairing: Zoro/Sanji  
rating: PG  
topic: Storms

* * *

He was being swept up in waves, wind, and sea spray even though he was sure his shoes were firmly on the deck moments go. Water is filling his small lungs too quickly and he feels like the weight of the world is pulling him down to the sandy bottom without hesitation or mercy. This violent storm changed his life forever.

He was walking slowly in a procession and they are at the place where she is going to be laid to rest far too fast, before he can think of a proper good bye. The storm covers everything in cold, wet, melancholy and hides his tears. For her he wouldn't mind showing them. This painful storm scarred his life forever.

There are thick black clouds swirling on the horizon now and Zoro can't help but notice there is someone else next to him sharing his apprehension. It is a connection he didn't expect.

"This won't be a comfortable place to nap for much longer, Marimo."

"Che, If there's a storm coming I want to see it coming head on."

"Yeah."

The two steadied themselves as the winds whipped around them and the first drops of rain started to splatter on the deck. There was a roll of ominous thunder, a flash of lightning, and suddenly the storm was moving past them in a different heading.

"The sea witch is pretty good at her job, I guess."

He had expected Sanji to snap them back to the normal atmosphere by turning on him for the comment but instead the cook just stuffed his hands in his pockets with a sigh.

"No. If it wanted us, there would've been nothing Nami-swan could have done."

"But it didn't."

Sanji gave him a quick but private grin.

"No, Marimo. Not this time."


	67. Shrinkage

title: Shrinkage  
rating:pg 13  
pairing: San/zo  
words:296  
topic: restraining sanji  
notes: Inspired off a prompt over to fanforall but not quite what they want I think...

* * *

Usopp took one look at the cook as he exited the kitchen, pissed, with knife in hand and KNEW the best course of action was to run. He was noble enough to shout out a warning as he fled.

"SHIT! SHIT! Hold him back! We're going to die!"

A heavy point Chopper scooped the cook's arms behind him and restrained him, even as he yelled to Usopp.

"You switched the cranberries with the island berries I wanted to experiment with didn't you?"

Nami stepped onto the deck amidst the racket.

"Ah that might have been me. Both bags said berries on it and when I made sure my gold wasn't in there, I had forgotten which bag we had unloaded to go to the kitchen and which to you. What's the big dea….oh."

The whole crew turned to the infuriated cook in Chopper's arms.

He was about a foot shorter and looked maybe five years younger; younger than Luffy by at least a year or two.

Gone was the hair scruff on the chin, gone was about a foot in height and instead there was tangle of lanky awkward limbs.

"Do you shitty bastards know how bad puberty was the first time around?" The impact of the rage was blown to hell as his voice cracked and raised an octave.

Zoro walked up to the restrained cook and leaned in with an amused leer.

"Was this before your other growth spurt or do I only get satisfaction from your squeaky ass voice tonight?"

"Uh…Zoro?"

Usopp's warning came too late as the swordsman encroached into the 'danger zone'.

A black shoe connected in a blur and had Zoro kissing the deck with a pained grunt. The male crew members winced in sympathy.

"Let's hear your voice now asshole."


	68. Gift Exchange

Title: Gift  
words:300  
pairing: Sanji/Zoro  
rating:PG13  
Topic: Exchange  
notes: Hey! Alternate Modern day AU!

* * *

Zoro woke up with Sanji's hand trailing up his bare chest and lips kissing his neck

" ' Morning." He grumbled with a smile. "Breakfast already?"

"Unfortunately, no. I got that meeting with the food reporter today and you should sleep a few more hours before heading over to the semi-finals. "

"Oh." His brain whirled to life and he took in the cook's slick appearance. A stab of disappointment hit him as he realized that Sanji wouldn't want that suit wrinkled or peeled off yet. "Then why are you waking me up?"

The cook smiled and ran his hand through his hair.

"Two reasons. One- I wanted a final look at my boyfriend's ugly mug in one piece."

"Che. You know you love it."

"Hnn. Maybe. It is does have a certain charm when it isn't bleeding or saying something stupid."

Zoro glared at the blond. He had walked into that one.

"And the other reason?"

Sanji put a small box on the man's chest.

"Happy Blah blah-aversary, marimo."

Zoro's eyes widened at the box and then sharply flashed back to Sanji.

"You said we wouldn't exchange anything this year."

"We're not, idiot. I'm giving something to you. It is only an exchange if you give me something back. Open it."

Zoro lifted the top of the box even as he growled at the blond.

"Just so you know, this makes me feel like an ass."

Sanji lit up with a retort. Zoro lifted his hand to stop him.

"Forget I said that. Oh!" He was speechless.

"Two first class tickets to Japan. Last known location of Mihawk."

Two tickets. His boyfriend wanted to come with him and support his dream.

"I love it."

Sanji misunderstood. Thought he was talking about the gift. That's fine.

He loved that too.


	69. Fair trade

The tribesman pointed their spears at Sanji and snarled. He could tell some of them were calling into question his character. He couldn't rightly have that.

A quick glance through the crowd and he could see Zoro on his knees, blind folded with the leader's knife pressed against the marimo's throat. Sanji took a drag on his cigarette, pulled out a pocket knife and cut the rope tied to the tree next to him.

A neatly tied and bound tribe member, on the youngish side fell from the tree branches above him and swung a minute as the rope tied to another tree a few feet away picked up the slack.

The spears retracted. Sanji walked up to the chieftain, barely glancing at Zoro.

"There he is. Now I'm taking this man back with me as we agreed."

The leader nodded once and eased the knife away from Zoro slowly.

The cook kicked the swordsman lightly with his foot.

"Oi, get up Marimo. We're leaving."

"About time."

"Don't give me that shit this is entirely you're fault!"

"Wait."

Sanji turned back as Zoro struggled getting the blindfold out of his eyes. The chief hesitated and then smirked.

"You kidnapped my son, you blackmail our tribe. You should be killed."

Sanji took another drag on his smoke.

"I know, but if you hadn't kidnapped my Marimo first I wouldn't have had to."

"We should have killed him then."

Sanji stilled and seriously stared down the man.

"But then you'd all be dead."

"We could kill you now that the exchange is complete."

Zoro put his hand to his swords, but the cook raised a hand to stop him.

"You assholes should have grabbed me instead. This moron would probably have dealt with you very honorably. Instead you all have to wonder what kind of mushrooms were in your soup this afternoon."

"There were no mushrooms in the soup!" One man shouted back haughtily. There was an eerie uncomfortable silence before a worried mumble went across the crowd. Somebody hit the ground. Follow by another. Then another.

"Must be weird hearing the cook say he didn't add something you all ate." Sanji guessed. "Now a sample of that mushroom you all ate is in the hostages pocket. I suggest you hurry up and cut him down, then seek medical attention in the next hour or your tribe will ONLY consist of your son and the cook. Let's go, Zoro."

More bodies fell and several people scrambled to cut down the boy.

Zoro gave Sanji a hard look.

"You're a bastard sometimes."

"Don't look at me like that. All they had to do is let us go without any problems and I'd give them the antidote." He pulled a certain fern as he walked by. "It is easy to find around here and as easy as making tea. Now they're on their own. All's fair in love and war."

Zoro snorted as he pulled the blond in for a kiss.

"Which did this situation fall under?"

"Didn't you know? With you it's always both."


	70. Unwelcome Souvenir

Later after the reunion was official and everyone was back on the Sunny but before the ship floated down to Fishman island Zoro cornered him. It had been two years dammit and he had thought the pervert cook would be the one to find him first.

It was surprising that it was Zoro pushing Sanji into a wall, fingers tangling in blond while the other hand held him still for the two years worth of deep kisses he had to give the man or else he'd explode.

"Noooo… let's do this tomorrow…" Sanji nearly begged between frantic kisses.

"Fuck no." Zoro had waited long enough. He ran a hand down the blond's strong back aiming to grab the round firm ass as his prize.

"No!" And the cook kicked him away suddenly. Zoro stumbled back in irritated confusion..

"What the fuck, cook. Did you meet someone else or something?"

"NO! Well, yes, a whole island full of shitty someone elses. Fuck Iva. I passed their shitty tests and they still wouldn't let me leave until I took something to remember them by. Fucking blackmail!"

Iva? Wasn't that the okama queen Luffy had told them about? Now that he thought about it the cook had looked a little squirrelly when the name was mentioned.

"Oi cook, Where've you been for two years?" Zoro smirked.

The fierce blush and looking away was practically an invitation for the swordsman to swoop back into the danger zone and run his hands over Sanji's body again.

He nearly gasped as his fingers felt them, the tiny lacey outline of something beneath the back slacks, barely covering his cook's ass.

Better than any blackmail Nami had ever given.

He silently thanked the Okama queen as he kissed his man's neck and reached for the cook's belt.


	71. Lost

It was only fair that a coin was flipped.

The first result bounced off the kitchen counter onto the floor. Luffy got down on the wood and glowered at the coin as he picked it up and presented it to Zoro, who also frowned.

"Do over."

"Really Zoro?"

"Yeah. Wasn't fair. It bounced."

Luffy was fine with that and tossed it again. This time it landed on the counter but not before ricocheting between two cookbooks. Both glared at the coin again.

"Do over." Zoro repeated. "Books interfered."

Luffy nodded, tossing the coin again.

This time Luffy caught it his hand, opened his fist expectantly, and frowned at the same result. Zoro shared his frown a moment before smiling.

"You're supposed to do this." Zoro slapped the hand onto the back of Luffy's other hand, reversing the coin's outcome to both of their delight.

Chopper went over the checklist before handing it to Zoro.

"Are you sure it's okay I go to the carnival? It's my job to stay with him and there's lots of hard work. He'll need to be bathed and clothes changed and the fever is making him a little delirious."

Zoro looked at Sanji, half asleep, panting lightly in the bed. His cheeks were red and hair mussed. Blanket halfway down to his waist and one pale shoulder already wriggled out of his light blue pajama top.

Chopper noticed and sprung into action, tucking him back in bed.

"Damn it, Sanji! He's been doing this all day! You've got to watch him, Zoro. He just knows he's hot and wants out of his clothes but he needs to stay warm and in bed. Maybe I should…"

"No Chopper. Luffy and I want you to enjoy the carnival. We had a coin toss for this, I lost."


	72. Getting Lucky

"Get out of my way asshole, I'm going to miss the countdown!"

Zoro shrugged at Sanji's apparent plight and held out his empty glass, silently requesting a refill of the delicious booze laden eggnog Sanji had made for them.

Sanji sighed and snatched the glass away from the swordsman with a muttered curse.

Zoro smirked that despite the cooks apparent rush to get back to the new year's party he was taking care to make sure the ladle that plunged into the eggnog and filled Zoro's glass didn't drip or escape carelessly, not a drop to go to waste.

"What's it matter cook? It will still be the new year after the countdown and it's not like the party is going to end at midnight."

Sanji paused his ladle action to look at swordsman like he was a complete idiot before sighing.

"I guess a socially inept marimo wouldn't know but it's common knowledge that if you get a kiss the moment the new year hits you'll have good luck all year."

The volume of the party outside the galley rose in unison.

"TEN!"

The crowd shouted together and Sanji looked to the door in a panic.

"NINE!"

Sanji quickly topped off the glass with enough eggnog that some did drip down the sides and to his fingers.

"EIGHT!"

The cook ran a finger up the glass to catch the trickle and put the now sticky fingers in his mouth to suck and lick clean, even as he handed the eggnog to Zoro.

"SEVEN!"

Zoro was mesmerized at Sanji licking his fingers clean.

"SIX!"

The cook's long fingers leave his mouth with a slurp.

"FIVE!"

"Come on Marimo!"

"FOUR!"

"Oi!" Sanji looks desperate to get back to the party. He tries to look over Zoro's shoulder to try and find a woman to bestow his kiss.

"THREE!"

Sanji shoves the glass at Zoro again, but Zoro is watching the cook strangely, oblivious.

"TWO!"

"Damn it Zoro! If you want it, take it!"

"ONE!"

Zoro pulled Sanji to him and pressed a sudden intense kiss to his lips that tasted of eggnog and potential. Zoro smirked as Sanji tried to catch his breath in an embarrassed and irate, blushing fluster a moment later.

"Now when do I get lucky?"


	73. Hot Soup & Hot Water

Sanji and Zoro had been fighting all day. Over every little thing and far too loudly.

Quite frankly Nami had enough of the disturbance and told the cook to cut it out or else. He had kissed her hand as he assured her he'd take care of it.

There had been peace ever since.

Sanji, it seemed, had come through for her. She didn't care to know what the argument had been about or how he had ended it so efficiently. Just as long as there was peace and quiet.

Dinner brought back the noisiness of the crew to the forefront though. If only Sanji could fix that too.

"But Sanjiiiiiiii! It's too hot! You don't want the brave Captain Usopp to scald his throat and be unable to weave his tales of glory do you?"

"Oi! Do I have to do everything for you? If it's too damn hot, try blowing it idiots!"

"That's your answer to everything, isn't it pervert cook?"

Silence. Everyone turned to Zoro, slowly comprehending. As that increased so did the shade of red on Sanji's face. Suddenly there was a bang, then a scorching, smoldering hole in the galley wall no one had seen being made. Sanji ,seemingly a lit in fury, stalked out of the opening to further deal with an ejected swordsman.

Nami sighed. She had a feeling that was the last time the cook would be ending arguments in that earlier non-violent method.

She took a spoon of soup to her lips and blew on it.

It was hot.

Still she couldn't blame Sanji at all.


	74. Better to Live and Lost

"Of course I can do what you ask."

Sanji pulled his blue hoodie around him, hating how cocky and nearly gleeful his own features could look when Zoro was in the same room, dying.

"Do you have to look like me while we do this?"

The devil smirked and adjusted his identical version of Sanji's favorite red tie, looking like a better-dressed twin in one of the cook's suits.

"The most powerful devils live inside your heart, don't they?"

"Tch! Let's just get this over with." It was apparent that the damage from that paw guy was too much. Chopper was at the end of his rope. Still, about to be dead was better than dead and it afforded Sanji to do what Zoro wouldn't let him do before. Protect him with a sacrifice.

"A quick recovery for Zoro, a slight shift in time so the crew will never have had this week of misery as his life teetered on the brink. One condition."

"My soul."

"No. The price is only as good as the value you put on it before I take it. Not exactly the religious type, are you? I want something more personal."

And then Sanji knew the price. He nods, a deal struck before the cook could reconsider. Before he could mourn what would be lost.

It's a week earlier and Chopper can smile again, knowing that, while serious, Zoro will recover.

Zoro wakes up. The cook is there, he leans to kiss him, Sanji does the same. Their eyes meet and a million tiny memories of words, actions, and feelings that turned their tumultuous friendship into a smoldering romance are ripped away.

Two men pull away from each other in a moment of confused disgust.

"Glad you didn't die, marimo. Let's leave it at that."


	75. Burn Notice

"Oi! Wake up!" A foot lightly connected with bruised ribs and suddenly Zoro snorted awake feeling every bruise. He had to stifle a groan as he winced at the sunlight streaming into the bedroom that was doing no favors to his pounding head.

A soft sigh and the smell of cigarettes made him turn his head to the right.

Sanji. Looking good. Looking relieved and irritated all at once. He supposed that was natural for a volatile ex-boyfriend.

"Where am I?"

"Louguetown. Apparently you still have me listed as your shitty emergency contact. Very sweet, considering how last time I saw you, you were dodging bullets in Shabonny two years ago."

Zoro winced in guilt this time.

"You know how it is, Cook. I wanted to call but…."

The cook nodded unhappily.

Sanji understood how Zoro saw the world and that's both exactly why he was still listed as an emergency contact and still came. Ever since Zoro had been secretly acknowledged as one of the best swordsmen in the world he had been determined to push his loved ones away from just how dangerous his life and missions had become.

It was both an honor that Sanji was seen as being able to handle the danger and annoyance that even then he was relegated to EX boyfriend status. He'd be less likely to be hurt, according to Zoro's mind.

Obliviously he hadn't been the one watching his lover almost die back then.

"So what happened?" Sanji asked with an exhale; proud he hadn't kissed the bastard yet. He was still very pissed. "How long can you stay this time?"

Zoro felt an apology come to his lips again but swallowed it. Sanji deserved better than this but he was still glad he was here.

"Don't know. I've been burned."


	76. Howl

He's lived on the sea his entire life and learned those harder lessons early.

That things live and die in the waves harder than they do on land. That the sea can provide you with banquets and stunning, breathtaking views one minute and suck you down to a salty husk within the barren darkness the next.

The howling of the wind tonight reminds him of a monster on the edge of his vision, stalking him out of reach. Out of sight.

A shame he can't see it since he's technically on watch.

It could be an actual monster. It is the Grandline after all. But he's never been scared of monsters. He's filleted sea kings larger than whales and taken down all kinds of seemingly invincible opponents.

This call on the wind pulls his comforting trail of smoke away from his cigarette and pulls at his hair. Beckoning and warning him all at once.

Come to the unknown and be swallowed by the abyss.

It's the lonely emptiness he fears and maybe that's why he never could even think of leaving the old man because even when shit happened he wasn't alone and the wind was less intimidating with him in front of it.

A blanket falls on his shoulders.

"I'm not cold." He complains despite the rather thoughtful gesture.

"Are you sure? Because I came up here specifically to warm you up."

"Heh." He pulls off the blanket, the jacket he's wearing, and pops a button or two. "Maybe it's a bit chilly after all."

And Zoro smirks as he slides down against him, his own body heat already a lure to press into. So he does.

And strangely enough he forgets all about the wind.


	77. Goodbye Last Summer

A/N: Please Note: high school AU

* * *

"It's going to be our senior year…" Sanji mumbled to the large fish as he smoked another one of those cigarettes that he's definitely not supposed to be having while on duty.

The summer rain pinged steadily against the tin overhang of their sheltered picnic area as the two looked out at the all but abandoned amusement park. An occasional yellow poncho was the only indication that the in the grayness of the day there was any customers in the park at all.

They should have just closed. It was getting late in the summer and anyone who wanted to come to the park already had early on or would wait till the weather cleared. Sanji rubbed the butt out against the wooden post next to him as he blew out the last bit of smoke. It was okay though. He needed the money if he wanted to travel after graduation.

The giant fish wiggled it's fins minutely in acknowledgment and Sanji smiled at 'Splashy' the mascot as he pulled at the slightly damp polo as it clung to him in the humidity and mist in the air.

Usopp needed the money too he supposed. He bet Usopp would do this for free though considering how much Splashy hammed it up with the kids while Sanji charmed the moms and made sure no one pushed or got too inquisitive about why Splashy couldn't stay when it was time for Usopp's break.

No kids today for Splashy to hug. It was a bit sad.

"You know, Zoro is going to Japan after we graduate." Sanji let it hang heavy in the air. "I'm going to train in France."

Splashy moved closer as Sanji stared harder into the rain.

"He'll dump me sometime before next summer. He'll consider it a favor too. Setting me free or some shit. I know it. Then we'll leave and never see each other again."

Splashy's plush fins grabbed him in a strong hug and Sanji let go after a moment, just this once. Usopp wouldn't hold it against him.

"At least we have one more year."

The hug tightened.

Usopp froze as he spotted Splashy hugging his handler. He was doing Zoro a favor by giving him his shift so he could pay Nami back and here he was besmirching the integrity of the role!

After seeing Sanji's face though, he decided to let it slide, just this once.


	78. Close Family

Luffy was starting to fight the admiral who caused this mess when Sanji came upon Zoro's sorry shackled form. Barely functional shackles he noted. Zoro could have probably escaped if he wasn't looking so defeated by guilt.

Che! He thought he deserved this. As punishment.

Hardly surprising, he did call the marimo an idiot daily for good reason after all.

"Do you really need me to get you out of this?"

Zoro's eyes flicked up at him.

"Leave. I'm not one of you. I gave up the right when I betrayed the crew."

"LIKE HELL I'D GIVE UP MY NAKAMA!" Luffy's scream echoed loudly in the background in response to something the admiral was saying. Sanji smirked at the timely response and gestured toward their captain helplessly. Zoro showed no sign of being swayed, as if he hadn't even heard it.

"You didn't have a choice right? You're not the first one that betrayed the crew to misguidedly protect us."

"It's different. The girls, they hated it the whole way. I…I enjoyed it."

"They _made_ you enjoy it." Sanji corrected with a hiss. Zoro shook his head in disgust.

"I should be stronger than that! What good am I if I can't control myself?"

Sanji moved close, sliding his hand behind Zoro's ear. The bastard had a point but he was too glad to see him and he'd be damned he was going to let him go. (Even if the captain hadn't given the direct order to bring him back.)

"I'm sure we can find a use for you until you feel you've been punished enough." Sanji smirked before pulling Zoro into a deep kiss.

"ZORO IS FAMILY! YOU DON'T TOUCH FAMILY!"

The cook grimaced. Zoro grinned, snapping his bonds as Luffy thoroughly ruined the mood.

"Incestuous pervert."

"Shut up."


End file.
